I just saw a top 10 depressing games video, and was pretty disappointed. It was almost as if the guy wasn't sure what depressing stuff actually was. And most of his choices involved just the game endings, or a single event in a game. That just won't do for me, so here's my own list. This is in no particular order; all these games have several depressing moments. I'll add more games to the list as I think of them/play them.

Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor

This game does not fuck around. You and your two buddies are enjoying summer vaction until a bunch of weird shit starts to happen. And then it gets much, much worse. The whole city is locked down by the military and demons are starting to appear throughout it. Anyone who tries to escape the city is gunned down, no exceptions. Everyone inside the lockdown has, at most, 7 days to live. Some people are able to summon demons to do their bidding, either with help from certain devices or through strong will. Of course, some people use the demons for personal gain or other nasty shit (murder being quite popular). Add in no electricity, little food, crooked cops, evil cultists, scorching summer heat, and e-mails predicting the (unpleasant) future, and you have a recipe for pure, utter misery. Demon summoners are hunted down like it's 1693, people start rioting and stealing, the sky starts turning red, and only you and your friends can fix this mess before it affects the entire planet. Play your cards right (wrong?), and several of your friends may die, sometimes right in front of you! So, it's up to you: help others, help yourselves, or say "Fuck it!" and avoid everything. You can even do a little of each! It doesn't matter, because you'll be getting fucked in some way. There's little time to be happy in this game.


Silhouette Mirage

Yes, this game is really cutesy-looking and has its happy moments, but the depressing moments are pretty damned bad. You play as Shyna, a cyborg (android? Robot?) girl who's been in suspended animation for some time. Her mission is to repair the Edo computer system which has gone batshit insane and turned the world into a hellhole. Every living thing in the world has been mutated into a Silhouette or Mirage (sometimes both) creature, and they start trying to kick each others' asses. However, Shyna has lost quite a bit of her memory, including the location of the Edo system and exactly how to repair it! And as soon as she sets foot outside, pretty much everyone wants her dead! That's bad, and then it gets worse. You soon learn that the Silhouette and Mirage leaders are fighting for control of the world. The Mirage leader wants you dead as soon as possible. He may or may not change his mind about this. The Silhouette leader wants to "help" you, but only after you prove your strength in a (BULLSHIT!!!) duel! He may or may not stab you in the back. Depending on the actions you take later in the game, you may or may not save the world. You might even mega-nuke it. The icing on the cake is the 9 continues/lives the game gives you to fully complete it. There are 5 paths in the game, and absolutely no way to gain more continues, other than starting a new game. Cheerio!


Fallout 3

The World War of all World Wars breaks out, and the planet is reduced to a smoldering wreck. That was 200 years ago, and now here you are! You're born a happy, healthy baby, and your mom dies soon after due to heart failure. Off to a great start, aren't we? Well, your dad raises you in one of several Vaults. These Vaults are where people went to hide from all the nuclear insanity, and that's where they stayed. Once you become an adult, your dad decides to leave the vault, which is a big no-no. Pretty much everyone in the Vault thinks you know something about this, and the witch hunt begins! Your one friend helps you leave the Vault (or boots your ass out, if you're a dick) after you save her from some of the crazies questioning her about you. You then step outside...to a depressing mess: charred remains of trees, cars, houses, roads, and even animals and people. Drugs and booze are pretty popular, and water and food are bad for your health due to radiation. There are also people and creatures out there who are more than happy to kill you and take all your stuff. Good times, right? Of course, there are people who will offer you jobs, too. Some of them are good (find parts for a water purifier!), while others are just plain bad (blow up a city!). Do whatever you want (drugs included!), because things never will be 100% happy, even with that cheery 40's music playing on your radio.


Cave Story

Again, don't let the cutesy look fool you. The game does have some funny parts, but there's a lot of morbid shit going on. You play as Quote, a robot who wakes up in a cave with no clue what's going on. He can't even fight until he finds a weapon! Quote eventually finds a little village, but learns some sad news about it: nearly all the villagers have disappeared. They were taken away by a "strange doctor" and his two minions, and haven't been seen since. Eventually, Quote has to kill one of the villagers, and is unable to save another one. And things keep going downhill. Even more characters die throughout the game, but you may be able to save some of them if you do the right things. Good luck with that, though. The game doesn't drop many hints, so you'll probably need a walkthrough to find all the better choices. Hell, even some of the better choices make it look like you screwed up. You eventually learn the doctor has very, very bad things planned and it will result in a whole lot of bloodshed and death. You can take the easy way out, but you will feel like a piece of shit. A sad and guilty piece of shit.

 

 

A top-down shooter by Lucasarts about shooting zombies and other classic movie monsters, rescuing cheerleaders and wielding all sorts of ridiculous weaponry. How can you go wrong with a formula like that? You can't!

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Check out the sequel (Ghoul Patrol) too!

 

 

I've been playing League of Legends for quite a while now, and it's still a pretty fun game. However, Riot Games (the dudes responsible for LoL) needs to get their shit together pretty quick because DOTA 2 is looking very good. And I mean VERY good. It's only in beta, but it's got several features that LoL desperately needs. Let's take a look!

Bots & Practice Games

League: There are two game types with bots available: Co-op vs. AI and Custom. Custom game bots are...well...they're fucking stupid. Their AI is utter shit: they're not capable of using certain abilities, they will not grab buffs, they're easily exploited (they'll stop chasing you if you run out of their sight range), and they like to stand still while under attack. They don't like leaving their lanes, either, and if they have to, it can cause them to break and stand in one place/spin circles for the rest of the game. Co-op vs. AI pits a human team against a bot team, and these bots are quite a bit better. However, even though they're smarter, there are still some things they won't do (grab buffs, alter their equipment builds).

DOTA 2: Practice games are where you go to play with and against bots. But, you'd better bring some padding for your ass, because the enemy bots wear steel-toed, spiked boots. If you make even a slight mistake, they WILL fuck you up and fuck you over. Maybe it's just me, but allied bots seem to be a bit on the stupid side. Even when they're quite capable of taking down an enemy or saving your ass, sometimes they will sit there and stare or run away as you are obliterated and the enemy walks away with less than 10% of its HP. However, sometimes they'll pull off some pretty awesome things, as well. And unlike League's bots, these ones will NEVER just stand there when they're being attacked. They also respond to certain commands, and will let you know what they're doing ("I'm out of the fight" "I'm going to mid lane").


Game Balance

League: Riot Games has had many problems with this, and it just keeps getting worse before it gets better. They have a test realm where staff, pros, and casual players thoroughly test characters, items, and other things before they're released. At least, this is what's supposed to be happening. For some reason, several game patches have been a total clusterfuck that have pissed off so many people that hotfixes had to be released. This usually happens after Riot Games staff assure people that everything's fine and that players just need to "get used to the changes." Other times, new things will be released that are just fine or could be powered up a bit, but will be nerfed repeatedly until no one likes them anymore. And lately, Riot Games has been making changes to the game they figure will promote more aggressive play, when all these changes do is make people play more defensively. People keep asking them to stop adding new content and fix some of the older stuff (like year old bugs and outdated items), but they keep plodding on, insisting they're improving the game.

DOTA 2: DOTA 2 is basically an upgrade to DOTA, a mod for Starcraft II. Again, DOTA 2 is in beta, so things are being tweaked and changed on a weekly basis. However, Valve is doing a fine job so far. There are only 2 game modes and 1 map available, but this is fine for the time being. The game itself is nicely balanced, and all the characters and items available are viable. Valve isn't trying to do anything super fancy and they're listening to the players. If they change something, they let people know and if it's not well-received, they fix it without telling players they'll "get used to it." All the characters and items have a role and nothing is outclassed. Features are being monitored and altered accordingly before the game is released, and bugs are fixed no matter what the severity is.


Moderation & Rule Enforcement

League: LoL plain and simply has some of the worst moderation for a game of its type. The game's infested with trolls, leavers, and raging nerds and there's little you can do about it. The game DOES have an ignore feature and you can report people for bad behavior. However, it will be some time before anything's done. If someone is reported enough, they end up in the Tribunal, a system where players vote to punish or pardon those who've been reported. Of course, Riot Games has the final say over the outcome and most of the time, people get a temporary suspension. However, even when a perma-ban is handed out, there's absolutely nothing stopping a player from registering another account and starting the cycle all over again. One other issue that has yet to be solved is people leaving games. When you have a teammate (or two) leave, there's no auto-balance, no game remake, no AI control; you are outnumbered for the rest of the game until you surrender or lose (though every now and then you can win). Again, you can report someone for leaving, but they'll still merrily continue on their way for some time until they're suspended or banned. Or they'll just play on another account.

DOTA 2: Valve has put some damned good features into DOTA 2. I'm not sure if such things were around in DOTA, but if they were, that's totally awesome, too. At the end of a game, you can report or commend players for their behavior. You're limited to 10 reports per day, so you can't just spam reports about players not buying the items you wanted them to. If a player is reported enough, they'll lose the ability to use text and voice chat for a time. You don't have the option of making another account, either. And if someone made your day by helping you out or being a good sport, go ahead and commend them and make their day! Leavers are also a problem in DOTA 2, but this problem is covered, too. If a player leaves, the game begins a 5 minute countdown. If the player doesn't return before time's up, the game will allow you to leave without being penalized. And there's a special match-making pool for people who repeatedly abandon games.


Okay, that's quite a bit of text there. I'd better stop now before this gets TOO out of hand.

 

 

I still have no idea why people are raving about Brink. And I still can't figure out how people came to the conclusion that it's the new and improved TF2. Let's compare...

TF2:
- Class-based mutliplayer FPS with 9 playable classes
- All classes have different voices, looks, playstyles, weapons and abilities
- No customizing the characters save for their hats, weapon loadouts, and some accessories (unless you use client-side mods)
- Each class has a selection of weapons that can be unlocked via achievements or random drops
- Two teams: RED and BLU
- Cartoonish look to the characters, maps, and gore
- Different areas of the maps can be accessed by different classes

Brink:
- Class-based multiplayer FPS with 4 playable classes, but 3 different sizes for each
- All classes sound similar, but each class has different weapons and playstyle
- Every character can be customized with a huge selection of items
- Each class has goodies that can be unlocked through challenge maps
- Two teams: Red and Blue (they had names, but I forgot what they were)
- Realistic, sci-fi look to everything
- Different areas of the maps can be reached via parkour movement

So, how is Brink the most awesome TF2 upgrade? Well...it isn't. These are two completely different games, but Brink manages to fuck up what TF2 made fun. First of all, only 4 classes: Soldier, Engineer, Operative, and Medic. Okay, I guess that's enough to call a game class-based, but good fucking luck telling them apart! You know all that customization people rave about? Think about this: The dude on the left is medium-sized, and is wearing a bandana, a blue t-shirt, and overalls. The dude on the right is medium-sized, and is wearing a bandana, a blue t-shirt, and overalls. They're both different classes, so which one do you shoot first when you're on the enemy team? Well, good luck with that! That's what too much customization gets you. There's a reason why the classes in TF2 (and other class-based games, for that matter) have unique things about them: so you can tell them apart! I'm sorry, but little icons, letters, or pictures denoting a person's class just don't help in the middle of a heated battle.

And oh, look. Brink is yet ANOTHER realistic sci-fi shooter. Golly gee, we don't have enough of those, do we? Part of what makes TF2 fun is the cartoony look. Nowadays, everyone's trying so damned hard to make EVERYTHING look as realistic as possible in their games, while going back to the same old historical or sci-fi war settings. Maybe I'm being too nitpicky, but I'm happy when I find a game that's fun to play without having to focus on super pretty, realistic graphics to entertain me.

Speaking of fun to play...wow. When TF2 was first released, were horrible lag spikes a problem in every single game? No. Did characters glitch and jitter repeatedly while they tried to perform important actions? No. Did you have to spend a bunch of time trying to figure out a special movement system while the previous things were occuring? No. So, why does this shit happen in Brink the day it's released? Hell if I know. Not that people raving about the game care, because they'll just wait for patches. Apparently, these days it's fine for a game to be released with horrible glitches and lag because the company can just patch it at a later day. That's a piss poor excuse for releasing a buggy game.

Well, I'm about done my little rant. I have no intention of buying this game. Oh, yeah. The bots in Brink are stupid as hell (DUR, I'M GETTING SHOTTED, SO I STAND HERE NOW.). Another point to TF2, if you please.

 

 

Do you like Halloween? Do you like delicious candy? Do you like wearing costumes? Most importantly, do you like kicking ass? Well shit, now you can do all of that in a video game Double Fine threw together in a year.

In Costume Quest, you're either a dude or a dudette and your job is to rescue your kidnapped sibling so you don't get grounded. There are many quests along the way that result in either items that help you to kick ass, funny jokes, or both. The game itself is fun as it is, but what puts the whole experience over the edge is the sheer atmosphere this game leaks out its pours. The RPG-type fights are nothing less than what it felt like to be a kid on the playground; your costumes become fully-fledged rad characters. There's the cliche about a game or film being for both kids and adults, and Costume Quest takes that cliche and pumps it up with fists, robots, magic, and an all-around good time.

It is fifteen bucks well spent. For yourself, your nephew, or the girl you want to woo with pixelated awesome.

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Oh, look. More about Final Fantasy 13. This'll focus more on the game itself, instead of the recycled characters and tragedy-infested plot!

I was only able to play this game for 3 1/2 hours because it was really frustrating and boring. Every other FF game I've played I've either beaten, or logged at least 15 hours before things got unbearable. FF8, 10, and 10-2 were more fun than 13, and those games were pretty damned bad. So, why is FF13 a failure? Let's have a look.

Graphics
This is one good thing going for the game (Square-Enix never really disappoints in this area). The graphics are amazing. The characters, scenery, FMVs, and attack animations look great. And if you don't want to watch cutscenes or certain animations, you can skip them.


Sound
I can remember at least one song from the FF games I've played. And I usually get a song stuck in my head after an hour or so of play. This didn't happen with FF13. The music wasn't that memorable. Then there's the voice acting. In other FF games it's been fairly good, and characters who had accents didn't lose them at random times. I don't know what happened with FF13. Some of the characters sound decent, but others sound bad. Vanille, one of the main characters, was surprisingly bad; sometimes she had an accent, sometimes she didn't.


Gameplay
This is where FF13 really fails. For the first few hours, this is what you do: run forward from point A; fight a battle or two; watch a cutscene; maybe fight another battle and watch another cutscene; reach point B; repeat. Those who've made it to the end of the game said this pattern continued until near the end of the game. So, basically, you get to play an interactive movie/tutorial, not a game. There are no big areas to explore, no secret items to find, no towns to walk through. There are no diversions whatsoever until much later. There were 7 tutorials to mix things up a bit, one of them teaching you about camera control. This tutorial is completely useless; you'll be fighting with the camera (and your character) most of the time. The tutorials can be skipped, but it's not a good idea to do so on your first playthrough. You'd think battles would make things interesting, but they get boring really quick. You'll be fighting soldiers, distorted humans, and robot animals for quite a while.

Battle System
Enemies appear on the field, much like they did in FF12. However, it's almost impossible to avoid some encounters, and you can't run away from a battle once it starts. Battles don't take place on the field, either; you enter battle mode, like earlier FF games. But you can't run away if things get bad. During the first few hours of FF13, battles are pointless and you can't run away from them. Enemies don't drop money or EXP, and only occasionally drop items. Later on, they'll start dropping Crystarium Points (equivalent of EXP) and TP (used for summoning). Did I mention you can't run away from a battle once it starts? I was under the impression this important option was around since FF1, and only left temporarily when FF Tactics came around. Let's go on to the new way of taking turns.

The ATB system is back, but each character's bar gets divided into sections depending on what actions are selected. A regular attack will take up one section, while a special ability might take up the entire bar. When the bar fills up, all the actions you picked will be executed. If you don't want to wait for the bar to fill completely, you can push triangle to execute one or more actions when they're available. At first, there are 3 ways to select actions: Auto-Battle, Abilities, and Items. Items should be self-explanitory. Auto-Battle simply chooses your actions for you. For the first part of the game, you'll only have about 1 or 2 abilities, so you're better off selecting Auto-Battle. Repeatedly. You can select actions on your own from the Abilities menu, but this can cost you time and HP. Time is important for your rating, which I'll talk about in a bit.

During battle, you get to control only one character: your party leader. You MUST keep this character alive. If the leader dies, it's game over. The way the battle system is set up, though, you'll be somewhat thankful you only control one character. Then you learn your other party members are controlled by some incredibly shitty AI. If you need healing, you'll probably have to do it yourself. Your party members can't seem to use items, and when they have access to healing magic, they'll sometimes ignore your near-death party leader. You do get fully healed at the end of battles, but that doesn't help when you can't keep yourself alive. If you do get to the game over screen, at least you can select retry and start near the failed battle.

Once you do finish a battle, you get a rating, from 1 to 5 stars. The rating system is balls, and I have no idea how ratings are calculated. The game seems to insist that the faster you finish battles, the better. This doesn't always apply, though. I finished a few battles well before the target time, and only came out with 3 stars. You'd think the rating would be important, but I didn't get much use out of it. As far as I can tell, all the rating does is up your chances of getting items at the end of a battle, but not by a whole lot. I finished some battles with 5 stars and didn't get any items from them.

Paradigms & Character Levelling
After a while, your characters will eventually gain access to the Paradigm System, a fancy name for Job System. Paradigms consist of 3 roles. You get several roles to choose from, including Medic (White Mage), Ravager (Black Mage), Commando (Fighter) and Sentinel (Meat Shield). You set up Paradigms outside of battle. For example, you could set up a Commando, Medic, Sentinel Paradigm, or a Ravager, Medic, Sentinel Paradigm. When you enter battle, your main Paradigm will be in place. If the enemies are tough, you can push L1 to select a different Paradigm and maybe make things easier. Like previous Job Systems, each character levels up each role separately. However, you level up in the stupidest way possible: the Crystarium, a recycled Sphere Grid.

If you hated the Sphere Grid of FF10, then you probably won't enjoy the Crystarium. To level up your characters and roles, you need CP, which is earned from battles. The Crystarium contains several nodes, such as STR +2 and HP +20. You spend CP travelling along the path, and at nodes as well. To go down a path, you hold X until you reach where you want to go, or you run out of CP. I think. I really didn't get the hang of it, because it was that fucked up. You have to do the Crystarium thing with 6 characters, and each one has 7 roles. To top things off, the Crystarium's made with a mess of flashy "eye-candy," which can make it confusing to see what you're doing.

Extras
There are supposedly some really cool things you can do in FF13. You'll apparently be riding chocobos, changing your party members, doing some quests, and upgrading weapons a lot come chapter 11. There are 13 chapters in the game. That's right. You don't get to really play around with any of the interesting things until near the end of the game. This was apparently done to keep the story moving. Why Square-Enix pushed gameplay aside to do this, I don't know.


Story & Characters
Another area where the game fails miserably. Recycled characters, reused moments from past FF games, and a confusing story. You can't really get interested in a story and its characters unless you know something about them. FF13 tries too hard to make things mysterious at the start, which ends up making things boring and confusing. Read FF13 in a Nutshell for a "review" of the start of the story and the characters.



Final Fantasy 13 could've been a decent game. It would've made an interesting platformer or action game; however, if this was the case, Square-Enix wouldn't have been able to call it Final Fantasy 13. Instead, the game plays like an interactive movie and is way too restrictive. It feels as if the game thinks you can't play properly, then proceeds to strap you into a stroller and push you along. At random times, it dumps you out of the stroller and punches you in the face. FF13 is another great example of why fancy graphics are not as important as good gameplay and story.

I'm playing FF12 again. It's a huge step up from FF13, despite being on inferior hardware. I'm still not too big on the gambit system; however, it sure beats having dumbfuck AI controlling your party and having to rush battles to get good items. Being able to customize my characters and choose my party early on is nice, too.

 

 

holy cow we have a...
TEAM FORTRESS 2 SERVER
let's play tf2!

Did you know we have our own Team Fortress 2 server? We do, and its better than any other one you can probably name. While mostly inactive during the day we can sometimes be found kicking each others asses on it late in to the night whenever the hell we feel like it, and you are cordially invited to come get your ass kicked, too!

CONNECTION INSTRUCTIONS:
look for "RAD! | LardPirates.com School of Hard Rawks"
OR
type "connect lardpirates.com" in to the console for faster and more convenient access to your broken skull.

WHAT TO EXPECT:
- Jukebox Mod. This is the pride of our server. if you dis the tunes be prepared to become a stooge. Nobody's going to take you seriously if you walk in and claim we're listening to country music when we've got Boston rolling.
- Alltalk. We're all friends here and theres nothing worse than being cut off from your buddies and being forced to shoot them, and then not being able to trash talk about how awesome you looked as you did it.
- Spontaneous Melee Brawls. If someone's coming at you swinging a machete and you have a gun in your hands, drop the damn thing and swing at the guy with your bare damn hands. It's how men do it.
- Tomfoolery. We fuck around. And we will fuck with you. Especially if you are a dipshit. We do it 'cuz it's fun. It's fun to do bad things.

 

 

League of Legends is a real-time strategy/RPG/battle arena game. You pick a character (aka champion), then help your teammates fight against the enemy team. The objective is to destroy the enemy's nexus in their base, and also defend your own. The nexus constantly spawns minions, little demon dudes that help rip up enemy defenses and act as meatshields.

Pros
- Free to play.
- Over 40 champions to choose from, so you'll more than likely find one that suits your playstyle. More are being added.
- A different selection of characters is available every week, so you can try some out for free before buying them.
- The game store doesn't require real money for everything. Points earned through play can be used to buy most items.
- Buying Riot Points with real money doesn't cost too much. The rates are actually pretty reasonable (less than $1/100 points), and larger amounts include bonus points.
- Practice games can be played with bots or other people.
- Ignore function is available. And it works.
- Surrender option is helpful for when you're obviously getting steam rolled, and don't want to continue the game for another 30+ minutes.
- Every game is different, even with only one map available for actual games.

Cons
- Of the 40+ characters available, at least 10 are horribly broken or annoyingly overpowered (you'll learn to hate Ryze and Poppy).
- The player base is full of elitist retards and trolls. Some skilled players bitch you out for dying once, or total morons bitch at you when they've done something stupid. You'll run into them every 3rd or 4th game, or virtually every game if you're unlucky.
- The matchmaking system isn't fair to pre-made teams with players below Lv. 20. Join a team with your low level friends, and you'll more than likely be facing opponents at Lv. 25 - 30.
- Levels, wins, and losses don't reflect skill. People can buy EXP boosts to reach max level faster. Losses can be caused by one person going afk or outright quitting. You can win even if you die 10 times.
- Surrender votes can't be initiated until at least 25 minutes have passed. If the enemies have ripped up your defenses in 10 minutes, and you know you're going to lose, you have to wait another 15 before you can try to give up. At least 60% of the team must agree to surrender, as well.
- The game's tutorial lacks important info (though, you can pick it up fairly easily by reading guides or asking friends for help).


Despite some of the faults, League of Legends is a pretty good game. It's still being updated frequently, and it's also free to play. It's also much easier to learn than some of the other games like it.

 

 

I can probably think of a lot more than this, but just so that we're not here all day, I've trimmed it down to just ten of my personal picks with an honorable mention for good measure. Let's dig it.

Honorable Mention: Knuckles Chaotix - While certainly not the best Sonic title, it is among the most obscure, having been released on the short-lived 32X platform and never seeing release on any sort of compilation since; in fact, the only recent attention it's received is being playable on the online Gametap service. Still, I think it's an interesting footnote in Sega's history, and it's actually a pretty fun game once you get used to its quirks. Come on Sega, throw it on Virtual Console for like $10, I'll buy it!
Average resale price: $30-$75, depending upon completeness.

10. Wasteland - I still have a hard time believing that this game is a mere one year younger than I am, as it has some incredible depth and gameplay innovations that set it far ahead of its time, and amazingly are STILL rarely seen in today's RPGs. But, as has been the fate of far too many good games and companies to count, it's all over once EA gets their hands on you. You get stripped down, sold out and left to rot in their sub-basement vault of doom forever. Because after all, if you don't want to invest the time to strap down and make a decent, original game, the next best thing is systematically eliminating the competition by buying them out, firing everyone and then refusing to sell or license their IPs at any price so people have no choice but to buy your garbage, right?
Average resale price: Being really old and pretty damn obscure, the pricing is a total crapshoot.

9. Wild Guns - This may surprise a good chunk of you, but once upon a time, Natsume made more than just Harvest Moon sequels and spinoffs; in fact, they made quite a few solid action games - Shatterhand, Pocky and Rocky and Shadow of the Ninja, to name a few of them. But my favorite by far is this, a frantic third-person shoot-em-up action title for the SNES. The game is set in the old west, where you blow up hordes of outlaws who inexplicably have access to giant robots and other mechanical weaponry to attack you with. It's absolute craziness, yes, but it's great fun; hell, it bears more than a passing resemblance to one of my all-time favorites, Sin and Punishment, so it's high time it got some wider recognition.
Average resale price: Around $60 for a loose cart.

8. EVO: The Search for Eden - Another super-rare title for the SNES. It's a great concept, though - starting out as a lowly fish, then slowly evolving into new forms first to defeat enemies and then later to advance through Earth's life cycle into various forms (even potentially becoming human by the end) in order to assure the survival of your planet. It's basically an RPG version of Spore without the dumbed-down gameplay and crippling spyware EA crams into everything to invade their customers' privacy and generally treat them like shit. Unfortunately, the company behind the game, an obscure little house named Givro, is now bankrupt, but surely someone can pick up the rights to it and let a new generation of gamers experience its greatness?
Average resale price: $60-$100 for a loose cart.

7. Simpsons, Alien VS Predator, and X-Men arcade games - Yes, they're licensed properties. But hey, that didn't stop TMNT from getting an XBox live port, now did it? Come on, guys, set the legal bullshit aside and give us some more great games that to date have still never been released outside of the arcades!
Average resale price: $500 or more. They're not very rare, but keep in mind that these are big, bulky arcade cabinets we're talking about.

6. Bubble Bobble Part II - No, not Bubble Symphonies. No, not that piece of crap Rainbow Islands. I speak of Bubble Bobble Part II, a great NES title that came out well after the system had given way for the Super Nintendo, and as a result was relegated to rental-only status in scattered Blockbuster stores, something which has made it an extremely rare find today. A pity, as it's one of the best-looking, sounding and playing platformers on the whole damn system. Taking Bubble Bobble (a classic in any old-school gamer's book) and vastly improving it with minigames, more boss fights and three new types of power bubbles, as well as a much-needed powerup that allows players to take extra hits before dying, it's really a pity that Taito has totally shunned this game since. And now that Square owns Taito, the chances of ever seeing it rereleased again have fallen to approximately zilch.

Panic Restaurant and Little Samson also deserve a mention for being in similar straits: late release, little promotion, unnoticed then and horribly overpriced now.
Average resale price: $120+ for a loose cart.

5. Terranigma - Hell, I could go a step further and put Quintet's entire legendary trilogy (Soulblazer, Illusion of Gaia, Terranigma) on here, but I'll just settle for the least-known of the three. With a blend of amazing visuals, stellar music, a dark plotline and much-refined and improved overhead action gameplay, it's a real mystery as to why it was never released in North America and we're all being forced to pay out the nose for an English European version. It's not especially likely to happen now that Quintet is apparently trapped in some sort of mysterious limbo, unable to report on their current whereabouts or whether they're even still around in any official capacity, but maybe someone could work out a deal to get this released on the Virtual Console?
Average resale price: $35 for a Japanese version, $195 for the Euro version, and an utterly hilarious $1200 sealed copy of the Euro version sighted on Amazon.

4. Snatcher - Wha? A Kojima gem that I didn't know about? What do you mean it's only gotten an American release on Sega CD, was one of the last games for the thing, and I have to pay out the ass for a copy? I mean, it's a great game and all, combining elements of adventure, action and shooter (one of the few games that actually uses the Genesis' light gun) all into one gigantic game, but surely it deserves to be on a better system and at a lower price, right?
Average resale price: $120 for a loose CD, upwards of $200 for a complete copy.

3. Suikoden II - One of the finest RPGs on the original Playstation, sadly overlooked for its "dated" 2D visuals in an era where shitty 3D models composed of eight polygons each were considered "cutting edge". What really burns my balls, though, is that this game AND its predecessor are on a compilation for the PSP, but for some reason it was never even considered for release outside of Japan! Come on, guys, take one look at eBay. See all those copies of Suikoden 1 and 2 selling for hundreds of dollars each? There's demand for those titles, get them out here at a price you won't have to take out a home loan for!
Average resale price: $200+ complete.

2. Radiant Silvergun - Or as its known to a large number of eBay sellers, "Cha-ching!". An incredible game by legendary developer Treasure, featuring just the right combination of strategy, intense difficulty, insane action and utter weirdness mashed into an overhead shooter. Unfortunately, it only received a release in Japanese arcades and for the Sega Saturn, a system which couldn't have bombed harder outside of Japan if it tried. As a result, the game received a short printing run of approximately 50,000 units; not a small amount by any means, but due to extraordinary fan demand it's frequently seen selling for over $200 online. Treasure has hinted that they may have the game follow in Ikaruga's footsteps and get a port to the Xbox LIVE service, though; here's hoping!
Average resale price: Anywhere from $195 to a fucking GRAND for a sealed copy.

1. EarthBound - A legendary game unfortunately denied its due by western audiences' rather low response to Japanese RPGs at the time of its release, then further ignored as games like Final Fantasy VI and Chrono Trigger came in and wowed everyone with their flashy gameplay and graphics. It seemed that's deterred Nintendo of America from ever bothering with the series again, as neither the Mother 1+2 Compilation or Mother 3's Japanese release (or possibility of translation) had at all been acknowledged by them. It's been registered fairly recently on the ESRB site, suggesting a Virtual Console release, but apparently due to some arcane legal issues this hasn't yet come to pass. Regardless, here's hoping that it eventually lands on there and gives this series some of the recognition it deserves.
Average resale price: $80 for a loose cart, over $200 for a complete copy.

 

 

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