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 lard pirates dawt cawm  §  Zatch Bell in a Nutshell / by Spoony Spoonicus
 the waggoner  §  articles and general riff-raff exceeding your expectations of worthlessness.
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 ~Spoony Spoonicus on 02:32am 03/21/13 (01:16am 02/26/10) in 40m54s  §  6179 eyeballs
 chained to: Anime in a Nutshell  §  first - previous - next - latest
 Most anime, despite all you've been lead to believe, really really sucks.
after 1 bombings: 
 anchors: none.
I'd say "Transformers" was the only decent toy/cartoon crossover franchise, but even that's been systematically ruined with one terrible remake after another.

Kiyo: Grr angst angst angst, I am a child genius who became an asshole because everyone made fun of me in middle school.
Zatch: I come out of nowhere with a pair of boxer shorts clumsily Photoshopped onto myself! Somehow this is a huge source of contention for the show's fans, which would seem to indicate that they're all either eight year old perverts or twenty-eight year old pedophiles!
Kiyo: Who the fuck are you?
Zatch: Gash Zatch Bell. I'm a mighty demon even though I look like some kind of retarded wooden puppet, am named after slang for female genetalia and wear a dress. Here, have this book that lets me shoot lightning out of my mouth when you say some magic words.
Kiyo: What kind of worthless demon has to get some random kid to activate all his powers for him?
Zatch: Every demon on the show, of course.
Kiyo: Great. Just like Digimon, Dinozaurs and Mega Man NT Warrior, they could have made this show halfway entertaining by just writing out all the human characters that never do anything but stand around and shout unimportant cack back and forth, but nope, we just HAD to include them.
Zatch: Oh yeah, there's about a billion other stupid-looking demons with slightly different powers running around too, and we have to kill them all so I can become the demon king.
Kiyo: Oh, I get it now. It's another formulaic collect-them-all commercial anime that's little more than a vehicle to sell toys and merchandise,
Zatch: Yep.
Kiyo: ..With a core concept directly stolen from Highlander...
Zatch: Pretty much.
Kiyo: ...and mixed with Pokemon so the story has absolutely no weight, tension or direction and we can recycle the same three gags over and over in every episode.
Zatch: You got it.

Within the span of two episodes the entire "angry teen" characterization is forgotten and the show turns into yet another formulaic villain-of-the-week anime where every single battle is exactly the same. Then, once everyone is tired of the coterminous storyline and toy sales fall off, it gets canceled without even a proper conclusion and ten more worthless copycat shows take its place. Fucking lame.
 rawks  §  rad comments, dogg.
 ~Azul Rojo  §  at 01:28am 02/26/10
Horse balls. I wonder how many fanboys will cling to this and say it's the BEST THING EVAR!!, when there are animes that are fun to watch? I miss Sailor Moon and Pizza Cats, I really do.
 ~Zero_Diamond  §  at 01:50am 02/26/10
People watch this crap?
 ~Spoony Spoonicus  §  at 01:56am 02/26/10
Not anymore. Now it's been replaced by soulless corporate sockpuppets such as Dinosaur King, Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's and Bakugan Battle Brawlers!
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a cherry