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 lard pirates dawt cawm  §  Mass Effect 2 in a Nutshell (Shittle Edition) / by Spoony Spoonicus
 
 
 the waggoner  §  articles and general riff-raff exceeding your expectations of worthlessness.
 
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 ~Spoony Spoonicus on 06:02pm 05/12/12 (01:15pm 12/26/10) in 16m10s  §  16864 eyeballs
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 Bustin' down plots like the T pities fools.
 anchors: none.
 
MASS EFFECT 2 IN A NUTSHELL (SHITTLE EDITION): COMMANDER SHEPARD'S SHIP COMES UNDER FIRE FROM A NEVER BEFORE ENCOUNTERED AND BADLY EXPLAINED GROUP OF ENEMIES AND HE GETS REVIVED BY DEUS EX MACHINA INC (ERR, "CERBERUS") WHERE MARTIN SHEEN SENDS HIM ON MORE INANE, REPETITIVE GUNFIGHT MISSIONS AGAINST A GROUP OF CORNY GOLLUM-VOICED LIZARDMEN AND SPOONY IMMEDIATELY GETS BORED AND UNINSTALLS THE GAME.


Spoony: Yeah. Why shoot for the top tier when you can settle for mediocrity in order to cut down development time and widen your profit margin? You've already built up street cred with Baldur's Gate and KOTOR, now you can just sit back, churn out a generic space-themed shooter with light RPG elements, pepper it with dull characters and a generic uninspired plot (80% of which is copy-pasted from development notes into the online manual at the last minute rather than worked into the game itself) and then ship it off to the Satan of publishers, EA. They'll buy up a few million dollars in ad space and positive press and before long you'll see five hundred times the return on your investment and one glowing review after another proclaiming that "THIS IS ANOTHER GAME FOR THE AGES FROM THE COMPANY THAT BROUGHT US KOTOR AND BG2 THEY ARE YOUR JESUS WORSHIP THEM". Then you can just sell 20-minute sidequests as DLC every three months for the next three or four years to make even MORE of a profit with no real effort spent! Yay!
 
 
 rawks  §  rad comments, dogg.
 ~Spoony Spoonicus  §  at 04:17pm 03/06/12
 
Bonus asshole points if all that DLC they sell to you is already ON THE DISC and you're just paying $6 or so for the right to change one bit of data from "0" to "1" so you can actually access it.
 
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