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 lard pirates dawt cawm  §  3DS Ambassador Program NES Games Mega Quick Hit / by Spoony Spoonicus
 
 
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 ~Spoony Spoonicus on 07:51pm 10/04/11 (07:19pm 08/31/11) in 2h2m50s  §  2760 eyeballs
 We love Virtual Console but man fuck writing a full review of something we just paid six dollars for. Have a Quick Hit instead.
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If you've followed the 3DS for any length of time, you probably know of the Ambassador Program, whereby early adopters of the system would get a handful of free games as a "reward" for buying the system before the significant price drop, starting on September 1st. However, particularly sleuthy 3DS owners discovered that you could actually download the NES titles on offer a day early, and this knowledge made its way to me. So I went to it, downloaded all of them, and am now going to write one big quick hit for the whole lot.

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Balloon Fight - It's Joust with a touch of Joust for good measure. Well, okay, it's not completely derivative, as Balloon Fight offers a side-scrolling adventure mode as well, giving you a chance to amass points and see how far you get before you touch an electrified spike and die horribly. Still, it is fun to play and one of the better early NES titles, so no complaints here.

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Donkey Kong Jr. - The original NES Donkey Kong is somewhat infamous for featuring only three of the four levels from the arcade game, and to date a complete, arcade-authentic version has never been released on a home console, save for on the Wii (but only in Europe, to fans' further frustration). Thankfully, the NES port of Donkey Kong Jr. fared considerably better, having all four stages and playing remarkably closely to its arcade counterpart. Another fun arcade title.

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Ice Climber - Doubtlessly one of Nintendo's weirder and more obscure titles, chronicling the adventures of two parka-wearing climbers as they make their way up an icy mountain, fighting off monsters to recover an eggplant from a pterodactyl. I don't really get it either. But in spite of the weirdness, it's not actually much fun to play, due to controls that manage to be stiff and slippery at the same time.

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Legend of Zelda - Ah yes, one of the NES' defining titles, becoming so wildly popular and successful that even most of its ripoffs (Neutopia and Golden Axe Warrior, in particular) were pretty damn good. However, you're not a true Zelda fan until you've completed the second quest, so hop to it!

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Metroid - Another defining classic of the NES, simultaneously praised and scorned for its extremely open-ended gameplay and convoluted layout. Might be just a tad redundant if you own Metroid Fusion, Zero Mission or Prime, as all three of those titles featured a perfectly good conversion of the NES game for play on handhelds, but hey, I won't turn down another freebie for my shiny new 3DS.

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NES Open Tournament Golf - I don't know of too many people who were clamoring for the return of a golf game that came rather late in the system's lifespan, but it's actually not bad as those sorts of games go. A lot better than the generic launch title named "Golf", at least.

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Super Mario Bros. - The definitive platformer that shaped gaming into what it is today, and I strongly doubt there's a single person alive who hasn't at least heard of it. Hell, I still consider it one of the very best video games ever made, and I'm far from alone in that opinion. Do I really even need to say anything else? No, I don't, actually.

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Wrecking Crew - Another old and fairly obscure NES title, this time featuring Mario and Luigi as demolition men who must knock down the entire stage, brick-by-brick (or utilizing bombs to wipe out entire rows for major points), without being touched by a bad guy or hit by stray fireballs. Also noteworthy for being one of the handful of early "programmable" NES games that allowed you to build custom stages. Unlike the Wii Virtual Console verison of the game, however, this one does NOT support the ability to save your created stages to disk, rendering the feature rather pointless. Not that you'll care much, as the game gets boring within a matter of minutes.

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Yoshi - Another one I don't think was ever very popular, but still makes a showing here. It's basically a simple puzzle game where you rotate various columns around the field and try to match up two tiles to clear those two, or collect several in between two halves of a Yoshi egg to clear them all, gain tons of points and cause Yoshi to appear. Yeah. It's not too great. In fact, I generally think of this one as just something Nintendo churned out in the NES' twilight years just to cash in on a popular character. Bleh.

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Zelda II: The Adventure of Link - More or less the black sheep of the Zelda franchise, largely because of its uneven difficulty and the fact that it plays like no other title in the franchise, bearing more of a resemblance to games like Symphony of the Night or Castlevania II than to the Legend of Zelda. Still, if you can adapt to its quirks and don't mind a lot of challenge in your games, this is a very enjoyable title.

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