A Phantom Brave fanfic

- Spoony Spoonicus
Great, another one of my favorite franchises getting castrated by some hack author from the Internet's dumpster, fanfiction.net. Welp, let's get this over with.

Pain of the Doubt by yaoi-kawaii123

- clobberpuppy
With a username like that, you know we're in for some high-quality writing!

Chapter 1: Jasmine

- Spoony Spoonicus
The disenfranchised Disney princess.

Marona sat on the bed, waiting for Ash. They had both confessed to they're feelings and Marona had put Ash up for sex.

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.........WHAT?!
- Miles Edgeworth
Ash is now an ephebophile about to partake of statutory rape and Marona is... surprisingly accepting of this fact.
- Spoony Spoonicus
We're TWO SENTENCES IN and already this story's jumped the shark. That has to be a record for shitty fanfic!

She was already in bed naked waiting for Ash to strip.

- Megido
You just said she was ON the bed, now she's IN the bed. we're not even out of the first paragraph and already we're getting continuity errors.
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Oy, this is going to be a long, long story.

Ash walked the door, with no clothes on. He looked at Marona and heard his heart speed up.

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Squick factor: 11.
- Chris Hansen
Why don't you have a seat right over there, Mr. Ash.

Marona giggled softly. She got up and hugged him. She felt his hard penis on her stomach. "Come on. Let's start." Marona said. Her nipples were harder then Ash's penis.

- clobberpuppy
You could cut glass with those things.
- Spoony Spoonicus
NIPPLES DO NOT WORK LIKE THAT.

She climbed back into bad.

Ash followed.

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JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!

Marona giggled again and grabbed his prize.

- clobberpuppy
Did he find it in a box of Cap'n Crunch?
- Spoony Spoonicus
That's not a very good synonym for "penis", but I have admittedly seen worse.

She wasn't waiting for anything. "I've been waiting so long to do this. I've always wanted sex." Marona said.

- Spoony Spoonicus
YOU'RE THIRTEEN!
- Miles Edgeworth
She lives alone, on an island, with a bunch of ghosts. Where is she even getting these ideas from?
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Must be some damn horny ghosts she's living with. Having orgies on the front lawn all ni-
- Miles Edgeworth
Stop.
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You brought it up!
- Miles Edgeworth
Well, now I regret it.

Ash felt shivers go down his spine when she said that. Sex? She has wanted sex?

- Miles Edgeworth
No, she's just having you strip down and come to her room naked as a cheap prank.
- Spoony Spoonicus
Boy, this guy's more oblivious than Mark from "The Room".

Marona waited for Ash to say something.

"Keep going." Ash said, in a restrained voice.

Marona followed what he said. She kissed down his chest, then teased his balls with her tounge.

- Spoony Spoonicus
A little forward, but fine. At least it's more of a logical progression than the Green Gappei.

Ash moaned, unintntionally, making Marona finally start giving him a blowjob.

Marona stuck Ash's penis in her mouth.

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"Just in case you didn't know what a blowjob was, allow me to explain it to you."

She manged to get it half way in her mouth, so she stuck out her tounge to get the part she couldn't get in her mouth.

- clobberpuppy
She has a six-foot chameleon tongue in there.

She heard Ash moan. She wanted to hear it louder. Marona started kissing back up his chest until her virgina was even with his penis.

- clobberpuppy
Cameo appearance from the Old Dominion state.
- Spoony Spoonicus
Okay. If you don't even know how to spell "vagina", you should not be writing pornography. End of story.

She giggled again, then made Ash go inside of her. Marona practacly screamed with pleasure as she moved in and out, up and down, side to side even.

Ash was surprised on how Marona knew how and what to do durring sex.

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Why not ask where she learned this stuff? You are her... father figure... more or less... I think...
- Spoony Spoonicus
Yeah, it's kind of implied that he's been her sole guardian since she was five. More than a little disturbing, this.

He moaned again as Marona moved up and down.

"Oh! Ash!" Marona said, her own will was gone, now her hips were moving on their own.

Ash smiled at her as he moaned.

"Okay, your turn." Marona said. She rolled over. "You're on top." Marona said.

Ash couldn't disobey, it felt too good. He rolled on top her and attacked her chest.

- Miles Edgeworth
Well, this took a dark turn.

Marona squecked when he put his cold hand on her breast.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Yeah, ghost sex doesn't sound too appealing. For that reason and many others.
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I've tried it. It's like having sex with an icebox.

Ash stuck his manhood into her, making her literally scream in pleasure.

- clobberpuppy
Not "practically", like last time!

"Oh! Ash! Ash!" Marona screamed his name as he moved in and out. Marona had one of her hands on the back of his head, the other on his butt.

Ash just kept moving. Then he felt wet.

- Megido
Please don't bring watersports into this. Please oh please oh please.

Marona felt his semen all over her leg and on her virgina.

- Spoony Spoonicus
She ain't no "virgina" anymore.
- Avatar
Is that how they pronounce it in the south?

Ash quickly pulled out, hoping that Marona hadn't had an orgasm yet.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Well, that's kind of selfish.

Marona sprayed all over the bed and on her legs and on Ash.

- Avatar
What's with all the fire hose orgasms in bad fanfics?
- Spoony Spoonicus
I'll make a controversial call here and say that it's because fan fiction is mostly written by teenagers who watch too much hentai.

Ash close his eyes. Shit. I'm sorry. Marona.

Marona looked at Ash. "Why'd you stop? It felt good." the 14 year old said.

- Miles Edgeworth
You're... not really making this squicky situation any better by qualifying that.

"Because. There are reason, that you will find out soon enough." Ash said. He started to put his clothes back on.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Why not just tell her now?

"But-" Marona said.

"No, just listen." Ash said. "You're going to be pregnant, only because of me.

- Miles Edgeworth
Ladies and gentlemen, the bomb has officially been DROPPED.
- Spoony Spoonicus
You know, of all the shitty porn fanfics I've ever read, only ONE has made a point of having the characters practice safe sex. Now why is that?

And since I'm a phantom, you'll most likely have it within the week." Ash said. "You'll start noticing the size changes in about a hour."

- Miles Edgeworth
A WEEK? A fucking WEEK?!
- Avatar
In the span of less than half a page, we've made Ash into a borderline-incestual ephebophile who gets Marona pregnant, and she's set to have a half-ghost (quarter-ghost?) daughter within a matter of DAYS? Wow. That is a LOT to swallow, shitty fanfic. That is a LOT to swallow!
- Spoony Spoonicus
This only makes Ash look more foolish. If you didn't want a ghost-baby, then why did you agree to this at all? Or you know, at least take some necessary precautions to prevent it?!

"How do you know?" Marona asked.

"We went through it with Jasmine." Ash said.

"With me?" Marona said.

- Avatar
So Marona's half... ghost?

"Yes, that's why you can see me. but Haze was only half phantom, so you only got the ability to see other phantoms, you can't become one." Ash said.

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How the hell can you be "half phantom"? You either are or you aren't.
- Spoony Spoonicus
Canon gets skewered immediately, of course, as Haze was the one with the ability to resurrect people as phantoms. There was absolutely no indication that Haze or Jazmine were anything but human, and Ash WAS human but resurrected as a phantom (by Haze's unique powers) when all three of them were killed by demons.
- Megido
I don't have any solid proof to back up this theory, but I'm still going to blame Inuyasha and his half-demon status for being responsible for this story element. Damn Gary Stu characters.

"Wow." Marona said.

- Spoony Spoonicus
You'd think she'd have a bit more reaction to being IMPREGNATED BY SOMEONE WHO HAS RAISED HER SINCE SHE WAS THREE and hearing the news that SHE WAS GOING TO DELIVER WITHIN THE WEEK.
- Avatar
I know one's teen years are an awkward and lonely time, but... good god. What could possibly lead to you not only dream this story up, not only write it down, but then proceed to post it on a public website for everyone to see?

5 days later.

"I'm naming her Jasmine, okay Ash?" Marona said, holding the cute little baby in her arms.

- Spoony Spoonicus
The first logical thought in this entire story.

"I like that. She does look like your mom. Blue hair, blue eyes." Ash smiled at the crying baby.

Marona smiled at Jasmine then saw her flash transparent then back to normal. "Ash, is she supposed to do that?"

- clobberpuppy
Yep. And in just a minute she'll fade from existence as reality tears itself apart around us. Time Paradox!

"Yes, She hasn't learned how to control her phantom powers so she'll flash between the two."

"Oh." Marona smiled at the small infent.

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Spell-check, people. Use it.

13 years later.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Well, this story's sure skipping ahead, isn't it?
- Miles Edgeworth
At least it's straight and to the point, unlike a lot of the other crap we've read.

"Hey, Mom, is it okay if I go swimming for a while?" Jasmina asked.

"Jazzi, you know you're not allowed to swim in the day. There are to many ships and boats. I don't want them to hit you."

- clobberpuppy
Swim at night, when there's jellyfish, sharks and stingrays around. It's much safer!

Marona said, she coughed.

"But I'm already half dead. What's wrong with just a little splashing around?" Jasmine argued.

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Ghost-babies must have extremely short lifespans.
- Spoony Spoonicus
Also, how does that support her argument at all? Phantoms aren't exactly renowned for their swimming abilities.

"I said no." Marona's voice got sharp after her daughter had mention being half dead.

"Oh, fine. Mom there's nothing to do on this island, why can't I go to school? Why do I have to be homeschooled?" Jasmine said.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Because you're a product of incest and possess a power that caused your parent to be ostracized from society and feared as a demonic being?

"Because you do still flicker. You don't want people poking you and wondering why you can become invisible, do you?" Marona said. She walked over to her daughter and began petting her green and blue hair.

"Mom, why do you baby me? You're always treating me like I'm 5. What? Am I not allowed to grow up?" Jasmine ducked away from her mom's hand.

"I'm sorry, I didn't notice that I was treating you like that." Marona smiled. "I'm just not used to having to talk to you like an adult." Marona caught herself at thinking. She just relized that her daughter was about the age that Marona was when she had her.

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Time goes by so fast when your father figure is plowing you nightly, I guess.

Jasmine hugged her mom. "I love you!"

"What happened to you hating me?" Marona asked.

"I got over it. You're my mom, I can't hate you." Jasmine smiled at her mom.

- Miles Edgeworth
Well, that conflict was resolved surprisingly quickly.

Marona smiled back at her daughter. She observed how much she was different from herself. Jasmile had long hair that was mainly blue, with unnatural looking green mixed in. Her eyes were blue with light sparks of green and red mixed in. She was unnaturally rainbow like.

- Miles Edgeworth
We're already building up into a Mary Sue here, and I don't like it.

She was about a foot shorter the Marona and had a larger chest then her mom.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Definitely a teenager. All our author can think about is boobs.

Her smile was also much brighter then Marona's, although Marona has gone through alot since Jasmine was born, so Marona looked tired and sick. She was sick and tired, but never showed it.

Last year, Marona was told that she had lung cancer, although, she pretended it was nothing.

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Smoking eight packs a day since she was six had taken its toll at last.
- Spoony Spoonicus
Seriously? You're throwing cancer into this story? This is NOT the sort of thing you skim over in a quick paragraph of exposition.

She was always hurting and coughing, but she tried not to show it around Jasmine, because her and Ash hadn't told Jasmine yet. She didn't want Jasmine to worry and fell bad just because her mom did. Marona coughed every once in a while and had to go to the doctor every week, but she denied to do kimo because she knew that Jasmine would know.

- Miles Edgeworth
Better that she finds out when you die coughing sixty years before she does, right?
- Spoony Spoonicus
This all seems very selfish of her, somehow. I mean, what's more important - your kid's innocence or being alive to support her in her later years?

Marona fought it without help from the doctors. They told her that she wouldn't last much longer with this pattern of care she was doing.

- Spoony Spoonicus
The "hope it goes away on its own" treatment generally isn't very effective, yes.

She was trying to keep up with her chroma job, even with cancer and her daughter. All of her clients told her that she was slowing down and that she should really try to help herself before she helps others.

- Spoony Spoonicus
And you should probably listen.

Marona just kept going. They hardly had enough money to live because of Marona's hospital bills and the fact that her and Ash weren't getting any job offers lately.

- Miles Edgeworth
Didn't you befriend the head of the world's largest pharmaceutical company AND save the world a few years back? I think you're within your rights to call in another favor. Hell, they've already helped out your friend Castile.
- Spoony Spoonicus
Speaking of which, where is Castile in this story? You'd think she'd have some input about everything we've witnessed so far.
- Avatar
I can only imagine she's in Zetta's netherworld a million light years away, driving a tank through hordes of bad guys, blissfully unaware of the drama unfolding on Ivoire. I only wish we could be there too!

"Mom, are you okay? You zoned out for a second." Jasmine said.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine." Marona coughed lightly then smiled at her daughter again.

"Are you sure? You look pretty bad." Jasmine said.

"Yes, I'm fine." Marona said. She hugged her daughter so tight. "I'm sorry for being sick, baby. I promise I'll get better so we can acually have fun." Marona started crying.

"Mom, it's okay. You can't help it. I understand that. Just don't die on me, okay?" Jasmine said.

Marona just smiled at her. "I'll try." She held Jasmine.

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See? She already has some idea of how serious it might be. Go get some fucking treatment!

"Um, Marona, the doctor called, says it's importanat and to come to the office asap." Ash said, coming to the kitchen.

"Okay." Marona coughed some more then put on her jacket. "I'm sorry, Jazzi, you can't come this time." She smiled at her daughter and left.

- Avatar
Next time, on General Hospital: Shit gets even more depressing.
- Spoony Spoonicus
That's a pretty jarring transition to go from Jerry Springer to light hearted slice-of-life drama straight into disease and potential death, isn't it?
- Miles Edgeworth
I have a feeling it's going to get a lot worse before we're done. It always does.F