fart

10. "How do I get up?" "Jump!" "I am jumping, look, it won't -" "You fucking look retarded!" (does a web swing over the boxes) "See, NOW you're being Spider-Man." (gets killed by Mysterio) "Shit." "Okay, now you're fucking being dead.".

9. "Braagh, you thought you heard the last from Atari, you puny fools?!I'm the Atari Jaguar, and I'm 64 bit!""You ain't 64-bit, get the fuck out of here!"

8. Oh god! Is Freddy coming?! He sure is! Of all the shitty things in this game, this screen is so cheesy that it's just awesome. But it's ruined by the fucking Trademark symbol!

7. What's the most important aspect of any fucking game? Well, being able to fucking play it. And what do you need to fucking play it? A fucking controller. So what do you do when the controller doesn't work? You're fucked! THIS is the reason [the Atari 5200] failed, THIS!In the name of God, Heaven and Hell, everything inbetween, every creature on Earth, by the far reaches of the galaxy, by the inner rims of the universe and every megaverse in the ultraverse, let it be known, let the word be known! This controller is FUCKING HORRIBLE.

6. "This is Jessica Rabbit?Well, I got your number, and I'm calling just to say "FUCK YOU!" "I hope you're proud of yourself!""Yeah, I hope you're proud of yourself, and you know what I mean, you fucking whore!</b>"I'm not bad... I'm just drawn that way.""Yeah, well wait until I draw your suicide note in your own blood, you bunny-fucking bitch!I'm coming over later and I'm going to kill you, I'm going to kill your whole motherfucking family!"

5. You'd rather listen to your only infant child puking to death! That is, choking on his own puke chunks. ...That's disgusting, I apologize.

4. Holy shit, the DeLorean! Now I remember that from the movie! Not so much the piranhas, the snails, the weird face, the running frog, the bouncy thing, the thing in the sewer that comes out and kills Marty, the little dinosaurs, the cloud that drops pellets and... whatever the fucking god-damn hell that is. And look at those, what are they? Goombas, and the spiky thing ripped right off of Super Mario Brothers? Fucking slackers!

3. (As SNES, to a Genesis with a CD and 32X addon) "What's wrong with you?You say CDs are the next big thing, but then you go back to cartridges?You say you're more powerful than me, but then why do you need all these extra addons?What are you going to do next, you going to add something else on top?""Uh, yeah!" (adds another 32x)"Yeah, go ahead, keep stacking shit on top."

2. Then there's all these numeric buttons [on the Atari 5200 controller]. Like, what the shit is this? Is this thing a phone? Like, what is all this for? Is it like... talking to intergalactic space aliens or flying fuckernauts or astrobastards?

1. Cowabunga. Cow-a-fucking-piece-of-dogshit!This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick, this game is as appealing as a fucking ooze-infested dirty fucking sewer rat shit. I've had more fun playing with dog turds. Shredder's my ass and Splinter's my balls!This game is an inside-out asshole regurgitating putrid anal fecal matter!I'd rather fucking yank all the hairs out of my scrotum. I'd rather drink diarrhea vomited out of a buffalo's anus. It sucking fucks, it fucking sucks, it fucking blows, it's a piece of shit... and I don't like it!