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yeasayer - odd blood (2010)
~vinic - 12:25am 03/10/10 yeasayer - all hour cymbals (2007) ~vinic - 12:13am 03/10/10 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time Reshelled (Xbox Live Arcade) ~Spoony Spoonicus - 03:07pm 03/09/10 Ikaruga (Xbox Live Arcade) ~Spoony Spoonicus - 03:01pm 03/09/10 Mega Man 10 (Wiiware) ~Spoony Spoonicus - 08:46pm 03/07/10 ![]()
cigs award
~vinic - 06:27pm 03/09/10 That Heavy's a cup! ~Washuu - 04:53pm 03/08/10 I GOT BUBBLE BOBBLE PART 2! ~Spoony Spoonicus - 11:10pm 03/07/10 Crayola Vortex icon ~Spoony Spoonicus - 01:26am 03/07/10 Top Ten icon ~Spoony Spoonicus - 11:47pm 03/06/10 ![]()
An Open Letter to the Internet Gods, If They Exist.
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Last Remnant in a Nutshell
~Spoony Spoonicus - 01:06am 02/26/10 (01:01am 02/26/10) The Top Ten WORST RPG Cliches ~Spoony Spoonicus - 12:47am 02/27/10 (12:44am 02/27/10) Chrono Cross in a Nutshell ~Spoony Spoonicus - 02:35pm 02/26/10 (02:33pm 02/26/10) s-CRY-ed in a Nutshell ~Spoony Spoonicus - 09:49pm 05/17/09 (01:04am 04/28/09) Bleach in a Nutshell ~Spoony Spoonicus - 03:13am 05/18/09 (08:49pm 05/17/09) |
![]() the waggoner § articles and general riff-raff exceeding your expectations of worthlessness.
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The leading publication specializing in how not to die.
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Gravity demons are beings from another dimension where their laws of gravity act differently than ours. When brought to this world, they first begin to pull off the ground large chunks of dirt, trees, rocks and other debris towards themselves due to their gravitational pull being stronger than our worlds, but operating at a much smaller range. Struggling to survive in a cluster of debris and trash, they soon discover that our gravity is pliable and easy to manipulate. This is a lesser gravity demon. A telltale sign that a gravity Crawling on all fours this demon looks more of a shambling mass of earth reaching out with invisible hands and searching for edible substances to pull into itself, never to be seen again. Unfortunately for you, dear adventurer, you are edible.
If possible do not approach a lesser gravity demon. Once you are in its range you will be pulled up and in to its form, immediately suffocated from your lungs collapsing, and if you're unlucky enough to survive that part, your blood will foam out of you like a sponge. That is, unless you go in feet first, in which case every liquid in your body will be squeezed up to your head like a toothpaste tube, burst out of your face and skull, and neatly fly up and right back down on the demon which looks hilarious from a distance. Imagine if you tried to spit something out and it just slingshotted back into your face. In the case that you are cornered by an oncoming gravity demon, pray to your favorite three gods that some peice of armor you're wearing will give you the ability to leap out of its reach. Or, perhaps, one of your gods will bless you and allow you to pass through the gravity demon's shell unharmed (a process that can take hours dispite the demon being roughly 100 feet wide) and strike at the actual creature inside, which truly at this stage is nothing more than an unattended toddler that is scouring the street corner for bits of candy. After the demon is dispatched, its form immediately spreads into a gas as it can no longer fight against our gravity. And since the demon is no longer producing a gravitational pull, all of the matter surrounding it will suddenly decompress and explode every which way. This includes many dead adventurers. Well, their equipment at least. If you survive this incredibly scary looking explosion, you will literally have a square mile of buried treasure to happily pick through. The real kicker, dear adventurer, is that you just killed a completely helpless being who was only trying to survive when the laws of its universe were taken away. If you're willing to do this go ahead man but remember, you'll always be a terrible person afterwards. Greater gravity demons have learned to manipulate their surroundings to such a degree that they have complete mastery over our gravity. Most of them are dicks. Imagine you are in a gilligan's island situation, but on this island are these tiny tiny little men, who are very very tasty. Your mind is bent from a week of starvation, and as you happily pop them into your mouth, you begin to mock them. Remember, dear adventurer, that you are tiny and edible. They can, at this stage, see and hear us, recognize objects, and in at least two recorded occasions, communicate with us. The first was the Lord of Batswitch Cave, leader of a massive army of goblins and other assorted weirdos, struck down by the hero Iiloft of New Beefertown in year 1272. The other, Beecroft, currently resides in the cleate mountains and is an object of worship for a small religion. When fighting a greater gravity demon keep in mind that theyre probably keeping most their body clear for ease of movement and just chillaxin', making them wide open to sneak attacks. Do NOT aim for the throat, spine, or heart, dear adventurer. The demon needs only its mind to manipulate our world. It will still have a breif moment of clarity before the brain shuts down and reflexively compress you into a diamond, sort of like swatting a mosquito that just shot a liter of cyanide directly into your bloodstream. This is a much cleaner kill than a lesser gravity demon as it has very little to no debris still stuck to it. It will simply dissipate into gas after brain functions cease. It'll be a pretty stiff wind, so hold on to your helmet, dear adventurer. ![]() rawks § rad comments, dogg.
This gets the 5 star approval rating, from me. I liked the "dear adventurer" repetition, it made it feel poetic but I think it rang to the tune of fantasy, and of somewhere that isn't under our realm of understanding. Great descriptions and imagery, too.
Great Scott!
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yeasayer - odd blood (2010)
Album Quick Hits Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time Reshelled (Xbox Live Arcade) Downloadable Games Quick Hits Top Ten Awesome & Insane Valve Updates Top Tens Youtube Gangbang 3/5/2010 (SHITTY COLD EDITION) YouTube Gangbang That was interesting. Diaries of the Adventurer Trio ![]() new rawks
That Heavy's a cup! ~Washuu
RedCappy rawked. That Heavy's a cup! ~Washuu vinic rawked. That Heavy's a cup! ~Washuu Dudley rawked. That Heavy's a cup! ~Washuu The Heavy rawked. I GOT BUBBLE BOBBLE PART 2! ~Spoony Spoonicus Spoony Spoonicus rawked. ![]() new bombs
That Heavy's a cup! ~Washuu
vinic bombed 5. Heavy's Nightmare ~Dudley Washuu bombed 5. I GOT BUBBLE BOBBLE PART 2! ~Spoony Spoonicus Azul Rojo bombed 5. I GOT BUBBLE BOBBLE PART 2! ~Spoony Spoonicus RedCappy bombed 5. Welcome to World 9 ~Azul Rojo Spoony Spoonicus bombed 5. ![]() what's this
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