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 lard pirates dawt cawm  §  Most Frustrating Video Game Bosses / by Spoony Spoonicus
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 ~Spoony Spoonicus on 01:07am 08/16/09 (11:53pm 12/24/08) in 1h9m24s  §  2585 eyeballs
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In commemoration of the holiday season, let us look at the bosses that make you throw the controller at the TV while screaming "FUUUUUUUUCK!"

Za-Zohar (Silhouette Mirage) - This monster is one hell of an endurance match; not only does he have a ton of health, you face him right after fighting Zohar's toughest incarnation, which is no pushover in itself. Worse, you have no means of recovering spirit energy during the fight except to sacrifice your Parasites, and most of his attacks can flatten you with four or five hits. He gets even more hectic when his health drops below half; at that point his lower half will seperate and jet across the battlefield to damage you, or just hang in the background and douse the entire narrow platform you're standing on in highly damaging laser beams. Fortunately Treasure isn't completely heartless, and gives you a chance to refill your health and Parasites after the battle - for a price!

Reaper (Silhouette Mirage) - The Reaper also comes after two tricky boss battles, and he's both fast and ruthless, unleashing huge flurries of projectiles and potentially dropping you from full to nil health if his whirling scythe catches you. He also has quite a bit of health to contend with; it's not nearly as much as Za-Zohar, but he stretches it out to the fullest by going Normal attribute at the worst possible times (which makes him immune to both of your elements).

Fire Leo (Viewtiful Joe) - Well, now this guy's a pain. First comes the arduous task of avoiding all of his attacks, then figuring out his weakness - he's surrounded by a fire barrier that will damage you unless you pummel the rocks he drops to heat yourself up. Then you have to dodge all five of his rapid swipes in order to maybe - MAYBE - get a few solid blows in while he's reeling. After that he leaps into the lava and begins again, getting faster and faster each time until he's charging around faster than Sonic the Hedgehog on speedballs, and swinging at you even more rapidly than that! He's a pretty difficult boss on his own merits, but the worst part about him is that you have to fight four bosses in a row before you get to him, and only get a brief stop at the in-game store before the showdown with Leo; die at him and you get to do the whole gauntlet again. Fortunately, they learned from that mistake in VJ2 and allowed you to save between boss battles during the final gauntlet.

Swordmaster (God Hand) - Like most God Hand bosses, this guy has a ton of health, and can take a large chunk of yours away with just a few solid hits. Also, due to wielding his sword, his attacks are notoriously difficult to dodge; you'll think you can dodge left or right to avoid his downward swing, but you'll still get clipped 50% of the time. But that's not the worst of it, oh no. When you've chipped a large chunk of health off, he'll perform a duplication technique and split into anywhere from three to FIVE Swordmasters, all swinging at you at once and whittling your health down to nothing in one fast combo. I had to abuse Drunken Sweep to beat the guy both times through the game; you're just barely too low to be hit by most of his attacks with it.

Igniz (King of Fighters 2001) - King of Fighters is notorious for its tough endgame bosses, but Igniz is easily the worst offender in my book. Sure, his AI is lousy, but that hardly matters when you're THIS DAMN POWERFUL. The guy will literally juggle you in the air for 100% damage if he feels like it, and occasionally he'll pause for a brief reprieve, only to bust out one of his enormous energy waves or black hole attacks for 75% of your health bar. Also like most SNK bosses, his attacks have great priority over most every other character's, so you're pretty much SOL if you go in for an attack and he decides to counter. Even with the ability to chop his health to 1/3rd after dying and continuing, it's still a massively uphill battle.

Matador (Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne) - For an early game boss, this guy doesn't screw around. Right from the get-go he boosts his agility stat to maximum, making him both extremely accurate and hard to hit himself, and then he lays down serious pain with wind spells. Should you manage to survive that, he'll bolster his critical rate and then lay down powerful multi-hitting physical attacks, which strike randomly 1-3 times a turn, and two solid hits (or one critical) can send most any character to the grave. A boss that requires either some serious grinding and optimizing via the fusion system, or a ton of luck.

Sarevok (Baldur's Gate) - I honestly have no idea how they expect you to beat this guy without cheating; he has tons of health, ridiculously high armor class and is powerful enough to cleave you in two with only a few solid hits. But it gets better; his room is comprehensively boobytrapped (and you cannot disable them no matter how high level your Thieves are), and he has a few pet mages to fling fireballs and cast all sorts of debilitating status effects on you, leaving you easy prey for Sarevok's blade. My only chance at beating him was to discreetly take out his mages with firebombs (they apparently don't notice the waves of fire burning them to death, just as long as they don't see you throwing them), then luring him to the end of the chamber opposite the traps, then having him chase my main character around while my backup characters slowly pelt him to death with magic missiles and arrows.

Sephioth (Kingdom Hearts) - Anyone who tells you this is an easy game has obviously never fought this terror of an optional boss. He'll teleport behind you in the middle of a combo and jab you for a large chunk of damage. He'll charge toward you, sword flailing, you unable to get close because he has much greater reach than your dinky Keyblade. He'll even go completely invincible and send enormous rocks circling the arena once in a while. But most annoying of all is his trademark "Sin Harvest", which reduces you to a single HP and drains all of your MP, which is almost invariably followed up by a quick teleport and a sword through the back for an immediate loss. That, and he has something like seven health bars you have to whittle away at, and any items you use during the fight (and believe me, you will need them to counter Sin Harvest) won't be returned, even if you die.

EDIT: Shyna also informs me that Sin Harvest is an instant kill if you don't have Second Chance equipped. So even more frustration abound!

Vamp (Metal Gear Solid 2) - Easily the toughest fight in the game; he takes tons of damage, dishes out more than his share himself, and he can seemingly go invincible whenever he wants. Better yet, every few hits he'll just dive into the water in the center of the room, only emerging to charge right at you while invincible and knife you in the back. And like any boss, he gradually gets faster and faster as you whittle down his health, which really gets hectic when there's knives flying at you from every angle and the guy's charging at you ready to slit your through all at the same time.

Akuma (Super Street Fighter II Turbo) - Born from the infamous "Sheng Long" rumor, Akuma came to the final version of Street Fighter II to steal millions of quarters worldwide, and did so with gusto. With uppercuts and fireballs that can drain half your health bar, ridiculous attack priority, the ability to teleport around any time he wishes and the ever-annoying double air fireball, he'll beat you senseless and then call you a worthless shit on the continue screen. Many, many times.

Most frustrating battles: Yukari/Mitsuru (P3 FES: The Answer)

Alright, I'll see if I can explain this without spoiling too much.

Toward the end of the Answer, you, as Aigis, end up fighting your teammates in pairs of two, with only Metis to back you up. For those not familiar with her, Metis is a largely physical-based character; most of her skills are of the HP-draining physical attack variety, and her Persona has no elemental strengths or weaknesses whatsoever. While this can be useful in many of the Answer's earlier boss battles, wherein bosses will almost always be able to strike at at least one characters' weak points, it's a burden here as you can't really protect her against ANY of the high-level spells being thrown around.

But back to the teammates you're facing. Following RPG Cliche rules, they lose their elemental weaknesses during these battles and are much, much stronger than they ever were when in your party. That said, the first two sets aren't so bad; first you face Ken and Akihiko, who both use lightning spells (thus you can counter both with one lightning-resistant Persona). Next up are Koromaru and Junpei; this one's a bit harder, since Junpei likes to use physical skills that often get crits (and earn him free turns to use MORE skills), but it's still manageable.

The REAL shitsucker, though, comes when Yukari and Mitsuru show up. First of all, they use differing elements (wind and ice respectively), which makes it difficult to select a good Persona for the job; a Persona strong against one element will often be wide open to the other. Second, since Metis can't resist either, one combination of a top level spell from Yukari and a Mind Charged spell from Mitsuru will usually kill her outright. You'll end up spending a ton of MP and items to keep her alive.

Second, Mitsuru retains her status spells here. Any other time in the game, they'd be a constant source of frustration as she'd waste all of her MP casting them on enemies over and over again to no effect instead of healing someone who is in desperate need. But of course, when they're trained on YOU, they work with annoying frequency. And since they inflict two of the game's most debilitating statuses (Silence and Confuse), just ONE of them landing on a single character can end your chance at victory right then and there unless you're exceptionally lucky.

Finally, and perhaps worst of all, is that they employ the same tactic as the game's optional boss; that is, if you try to equip items or Personas that completely negate their elemental spells, they'll simply bust out a high-level Almighty spell instead. For the uninitiated, Almighty spells are pretty much the ultimate last resort; in your hands, they cost a ton of MP to use and usually do only average damage, but they cannot be blocked, absorbed or reflected. In the CPU's hands, however, it's pretty much the ultimate "FUCK YOU" spell; bosses never have to worry about MP, the attacks do tons of damage and, of course, they cannot be blocked, absorbed or reflected. And if Mitsuru uses one right after a Mind Charge.... yeah, there's absolutely nothing you can do. The fight's over and you've lost.

To conclude, this one resulted in hours of anguished grinding, numerous convoluted fusions to get just the right set of Personas and abilities for the battle, and outright fury as they killed me again and again with the same cheap combinations or landed a single status effect that completely ruined me. It was to my GREAT relief that the final battle followed the usual Megaten trend and ended up being quite easy in comparison.

There's a few picks from me, Shyna and Maid, post a few of your own!
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