This is all just a really flowery way of saying that I want to thank these guys for making these games, but rather than hunting down dozens of e-mail addresses, opening Thunderbird, and typing out a few words of thanks in the hopes of getting an automated reply from their junk mail filter, I'm just going to type out a few paragraphs here and hope they stumble upon it while looking for sites making fun of Halo.

Best Game Released Last Year That I Played This Year Award: Super Mario 64 DS

It was in late 2004 that this game was released, eliciting laughs from the Sony-supporting crowd; the flagship game for the Nintendo DS would be a years-old port!Oh, the comedy!Of course, this was before their own portable system was released, the library of which consists of an estimated 50% old game ports*.Had they looked closer, however, they would have discovered that Super Mario 64 DS is no mere rerelease, but a major expansion on a game that's been duking it out among the best of platformers since its debut nearly a decade ago.Three new playable characters, 30 new stars to find, and enough changes to existing stages to surprise even those who played the original extensively.There's even a slew of simple, but brutally addictive minigames, making it a great time-waster even after you've cleared out the main game.Score one for Nintendo.

* I'm working off of a quick once-over on IGN here, but Greg, former PSP owner and current Gamestop employee, assures me that I'm not too far off with this figure.

Long Overdue Award: Half-Life

Well guys, it took you almost seven years, but at least Half-Life is available at Wal-mart for the low price of $10.And without oodles of crap I'm never going to play like Fire Arms, Counter Strike, Blue Smack, or any of that;just a no-frills Half-life CD at last.Now if Greg hadn't given his copy to me for free, I'd be picking it up right now.But nevertheless, thanks!

Best Compilation Award: Capcom Classics Collection

Arcade-perfect ports of all the games that made Capcom what they are today.From their very first title, a pretty nondescript shooter named Vulgus, to the perpetual classics Street Fighter 2 and Final Fight, they're all here.There's even a few more obscure classics, from Sonson and Forgotten Worlds to 1943 Kai (an enhanced version of the famous WW2 shooter) and the ridiculously fun Mercs.Each also has a few unlockable bonuses; game hints, concept art, and the like are unlockable by getting certain scores or completing the games.A solid compilation from square one for Capcom's fans.

Destined To Be Ignored Award: Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney

A lawyer simulator?Who will play that, asked many.And aside from myself and Syd, and a few others who I've threatened violence upon for not playing it, the general consensus seems to be "very few."Which is a shame, because this is among my favorite DS titles.An adventure game pitting you in the role of a criminal defense lawyer, Capcom's great writing team has taken an idea that wouldn't be good for much more than a novelty in any other writing staff's hands and has turned it into something great.The humor is truly funny and the plot twists are brilliant; just as you think you've got the case in the bag another piece of evidence crops up that changes the entire trial.It's tough at times, but great fun throughout.Here's hoping that this game follows the path of River City Ransom and gets praise as a cult classic.

Biggest Demo Turnaround: Serious Sam II

When the first demo of the sleeper hit's sequel rolled around, it was a huge disappointment; they'd taken what was formerly a great game about blasting hundrends upon hundreds of monsters and turned it into a cruddy Halo clone!Gone are the wide-open, brightly-lit spaces filled with hundreds of monsters for you to blast, now you're just stuck in cramped, flat-grey corridors fighting the same two flying robots.Not at all what we'd come to expect from Croteam.

But then along came the second demo, and holy crap, Sam was back.Brightly-lit arenas filled with dozens of mutant football players, giant cyborg spiders, and all sorts of exotic twists on mainstay shooter weapons.They kept the right click = grenade mechanic stolen from Halo, but that's forgivable when you have a game this fun.They even make fun of Lord of the Rings as an added bonus.I'd like to think there were a lot more Sam fans heading out to pick up the greatest discount title series in ages after playing the second demo.

Worst Trend of the Year: March Delay, Go!

You may recognize this as having happened to one of your most anticipated releases slated for this year.Kingdom Hearts 2, Twilight Princess, Pirate Battle, Suikoden 5, Scurge Hive, and even Elder Scrolls 4, all pushed back to March, leaving just a lineup of unsold copies of Viewtiful Joe 2 and Ping Pals lining the shelves come Christmas.Eh, at least Nintendo's Wi-Fi support will keep us distracted until March rolls around.


Well, that's it for the awards, unless I think up some more semi-clever categories to add later, at which point I'll sandwich them in the middle and pretend they were always there.Good night, everyone!

- RedCappy <- 3:35:02 pm, saturday, december 24th, 2005 pst
- Spoony Spoonicus <- 6:05:19 am, friday, march 17th, 2006 pst