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"Grow some balls, Chief Little Big Bitch" Taint said to Valk, leaning back in the pilots seat while reaching for a loose stick of dynamite he had just dropped. The plane's floor had finally dried out after Taint opened the doors at low altitude, because he thought he couldn't make it to the bathroom in time for his horse-drowning first piss of the day.

"Theres no balls about it, I think you dislocated my hip!" Valk replied, adjusting the pillow between his left ass cheek and his seat. Taint finally got ahold of his dynamite.

"Check out this sweet new dynamite I just made." said Taint, holding the stick above his head.

"What's it do?" Myen asked.

"I dunno but we have about three seconds to find out!" Taint yelled as he rolled down the window to the plane and threw the stick straight ahead. It went about two feet from the windshield before it stuck itself on the wiper blades. "HAH! SHIT! ITS A *BOOM*ERANG!"

Accompanied by a sound resembling a tire being slashed, the windshield turned a dark brown, before the substance from the dynamite was blown off by the force of the wind. Sand rushed in through Taint's open window and a majority of it blasted a napping Topaz directly in the face, knocking her on the floor and scaring her awake for the second time in 8 hours. "DAMNIT!" she yelled as she scrambled back to the sleeping quarters.

"FUCKING! I JUST CLEANED IN HERE! WHAT THE HELL!" Taint yelled loud enough to compete with the sputtering of the engines, struggling to stay running after eating approximately one half of a spontaneously generated beach a peice. "COME ON! OKAY GET THE BROOM! VALK YOU'RE CLEANING THIS!" he continued, as the plane's altitude began to drop. The engines cut out entirely.

"TAINT! GET THE STICK!" Myen shouted in a panic. Taint was too busy pushing sand around with his feet and Valk was failing in his duties as temporary co-pilot due to him being in a fetal position in the seat, unable to fulfill the duck portion of his strategy by the rope he uses as a makeshift seatbelt. Topaz was screaming incoherent words in the back of the plane.

"What? OH." Taint blurted as he spun around after staring at Myen for a full seven seconds after his outburst. He grabbed the flight yoke and slammed it forward, throwing the plane into an even deepr dive. "WHOOPS SHIT" were his next words, yanking the stick the opposite direction, lessening the chance that the initial impact will kill the crew while at the same time increasing the chances that the resulting explosion from all the dynamite will. "Don't worry, I'll aim for the trees." he said reassuringly, as if this was something special you did while your plane was going down in the middle of a 300 mile wide forest.

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- Alpha Communicator <- 7:31:55 pm, saturday, october 28th, 2006 pdt