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Taint and Myen had been making their way down the hill for about 45 minutes, telling dumb jokes and eating beef jerky seasoned with a blend of spices Taint created himself. His secret is that what appear to be grill marks on the jerky are actually burns from a lit fuse.

"...So they dont get their hair caught in the zipper!" Taint yelled.

"HAHA! Haven't heard that one before!" Myen replied.

"I just made it up. Right here. At this exact moment." Taint said boastfully. He promptly tripped over a stump and took a dive down the hill.

"TAINT!" Myen yelled, chasing after Taint as he slid down the wet leaves of the forest floor. He hit a large bump in the hill and was sent flying

"SHIIIITFUUuuUU-"*KLONG*.

Myen wasn't sure what the last part of that sentence meant until he slid to a stop before going over the hill, and spotted Taint sprawled out across the wing of a very dirty plane, covered in vines. Barely visible through the growth was the words EAGLE HUMPER, although it looked more like "E GLHPE ".

"Uhhgh, damnit." Taint said as he sat up on the wing. "...Fucking found it."

"Yeah. What do we need to rip off of here?"

"Probably nothing, I just wanted to check this thing out." Taint said as he hopped off the wing and headed for the door. He yanked on the handle, causing the rusty hinges to give way and the door to fall over, almost crushing him. "Hah, just like old times!"

As if Taint's resounding KLONG wasn't enough to do it, the sound of the door creaking off its hinges and hitting the ground stirred up something living in the case which at one point held the plane's engines. Its parts were violently ripped out and scattered on the dirt infront of it. A boar stuck its head out of the hole and looked straight at Taint.

"Oh, fuck. Check this out." Taint said to Myen, who slid down the hill to investigate.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Best case scenario, more jerky." Taint slowly readied himself to whip his pickaxe at the boar's head, whose attention was now focused on Myen, head turned at an angle where its neck was fully exposed for a sweet killing blow. He let the axe fly, and before reaching the boar one of its tusks unraveled into a vine-like tendril, which flicked out and caught the axe by the handle in mid air. The boar's attention focused back on Taint, who was readying his other pickaxe. "...The fuuck yooouu doooiinn with my pickaaaxe..." Taint half-whispered. The boar jerked its head to one side, and the tentacle whipped around and threw the pickaxe high into the air, before coming back down and sticking into the plane's roof. The tentacle wound itself back up into a tusk shape on the boar's face.

"Taint, you sure you got this?" Myen asked. He picked up a sturdy branch and slowly approached the boar.

"What? Yeah, man. He's just got a, uh, tentacle. Tentacle Boar." Taint said, who flicked his arm back and forward again, launching his last pickaxe at the boar. This time the other tusk unraveled, catching the pickaxe, as the first tusk whipped out and lashed around Taint's leg. "FUCK!" He yelled. The boar jerked its head backwards violently, yanking taint by his ankle into the air before flipping him back over, dropping him on his pants from a height of six feet. "h-OOOHHHH!" Taint yelled before falling over and grabbing his ass.

Myen took this oppertunity to take a swing at the boar with his branch, but was blocked by the boar's free tentacle. A brief tug of war erupted between the two before the boar swung the pickaxed tentacle at Myen, hitting him square in the back with the flat side, forcing him to drop to his knees.
As the boar flexed its tentacle to lift the pickaxe, Taint managed to throw his body on top of the weapon and clenched on despite the crippling weakness that comes with having the wind knocked out of you.

"Fucking... Give me my..." Taint said as the boar lifted him up into the air. Taint began to shake around, trying to free the pickaxe from its grip. The boar released its hold on the branch to wrap it around Taint's midsection.

Myen used this oppertunity to take a great overhead crushing blow onto the boar's forehead with the branch, causing it to freak out and drop both Taint and his pickaxe. He gave it two more solid whacks between the eyes as it released sharp noises resembling a whale racking its nuts on a submarine. Before the fourth blow could be delivered it flicked out a tentacle and lashed Myen across the face, leaving a stinging welt and knocking him on the ground. The boar jumped from its perch on the engine and began rapidly whipping Myen with its tentacles. Taint finally regained his breath, stood up, and planted his pickaxe through one of the boar's ears and out through the lower jaw. The tentacles fell limp as blood began to pour out of its mouth.

"THOMPSON'S DICK, WHAT THE HELL WAS WITH THIS BOAR?" Taint yelled. Myen rolled over on his front and slowly stood up.

"Guh.. argh." Myen sputtered out. He got on his feet but was still folded over. "It got me..."

"In the balls?"

"Yeah..."

"I saw that, damn. You gonna be okay?"

"...Yeah."

"All right, I'm going to go fuck around inside the plane. Don't go puking, I'll make you pay me back for the jerky you wasted if you do."

"...Okay" Myen sat down on the ground and began rocking back and forth. Taint went in the plane and started giggling.

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