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Taint sat in his makeshift bed in the passenger area, a chair in the back draped with blankets and pillows underneath, with extra padding and boards wedged underneath at an angle to make sort of a stationary hammock of sorts. His mind was boiling with so many plans to break in to this stupid tournament and steal whatever it is they're giving to the winner. His main problem was that he knew he couldn't do it with his normal tactics. More than the nessescary amount of dynamite to bust open a locked door, or a vault, or a table, or just in the middle of a hallway for fun, and the jig is up. They'll know it was him and they'll hunt his ass down. Toss him in jail or just tie him to a rock and pitch it in to a lake. He didn't even think about what they'd do to his crew, the poor bastards.

Taint drifted off in to sleep as his plane began to drift downwards into a steady descent towards the forest below. Most crews have a co-pilot to prevent this sort of thing, keeping an eye on the altitude and whatnot as the pilot sleeps, but not Taint. He's devised his own little warning system to keep him aware, at all times, the condition of his plane. As the Air Grumpkin steepend its angle, a hammer tied to a rope, sitting on a shelf in the back of the passenger area, slides off, swings through the air by the rope and collides with a frying pan hanging on the wall. With this, Taint hops up and scuffles to the controls, bringing the aircraft back to an angle that doesn't invite another batch of forest crazies to declare his plane to be someone elses or steal his beef jerky, like a bunch of assholes. He wedges his autopilot stick underneath the yoke, replaces the hammer on its shelf, checks his compass, and examines his map to confirm that theyre on the right course, towards Hawkjaw.

Morning breaks, and Taint is awakened by laughter and dry heaves coming from the crew's cabin. "WHAT THE HELL?" he yells and kicks his blankets around like a flailing mutant infant before jumping to his feet and running back to the quarters. Opening the door, he finds Valk on his knees, catching his breath as Myen and Topaz are on the tail end of a throat burning fit of extreme giggles. "The fuck is going on in here?" He asks.

"MYEN GAVE VALK A DUTCH OVEN!" Topaz manages to yell inbetween snorting laughs.

"A dutch oven? Fuck the dutch oven! That's an amateur's work!" Taint yells while pointing at Myen. "But, I will give you credit for making Valk almost toss his breakfast before he even ate it."

"Fuck you guys." Valk says as he crawls back up on to his bed.

"That's the craziest thing, really. It didn't even smell. It was just my ass in proximity to his face, and I guess the wind that just blew his fucking sensors." Myen explained as he leaned back in his bed.

"Well, im glad you chuts are up, We're going to visit my dad." Taint says. The room goes quiet.

"Your dad?" Topaz finally asks.

"Yeah, we gotta talk to him to find out where the fuck my sister is at, and then find her so she can figure out where this damned tournament is, and THEN finally go to the bitch and steal everything without making it too obvious that I was there."

"Holy shit we all thought your dad was dead!" Valk announces.

"The fuck kind of assumption is that? That is an asshole's assumption." Taint replies.

"Well shit, you have his old fake leg mounted on the wall above the cockpit door, and every time you look at the thing you hush up and look all serious." Topaz says.

"I fucking swiped that thing last time I visited him, like a year ago or something. Pretty much before I met you three. It was a prank and after I horked it I realized that it really wasn't as funny as I thought it was going to be. I mean, 'hey ive got his fake leg, now he has to use crutches. Big shit'. It's a reminder to myself," Taint says solemnly, "TO THINK SHIT OUT! And THAT is why we're going to see him and find Medusa so she can help us, otherwise we're dealing with a coarse tit."

"Medusa?" Valk asks.

"My sister."

"How will she help?

"Ha, glad you asked! Beeeecaauuuse, she's in the arms party!"

Everyone interjected with "what"s and "holy shit"s and "whoa whoa whoa"s before Taint could continue with his explanation

"Basically what she's doing is awesome as all fucking hell. She's using a fake name, and is working in the Arms Party anti-corruption agency. Her job basically is to research all the information and whatnot flowing through the Arms, sniff out anything fishy, and report it to the head dudes."

"So she's going to give us the location of the tournament?" Myen asks.

"Fucking YEAH! She's also going to register us in the bitch, with fake names she'll make up because, honestly, I'll just pick the dumbest names poss-" CLANG "FUCKING PLANE! STAY STRAIGHT! KING'S ASS AND THE SHIT THAT COMES OUT OF IT!" Taint yells as he runs to the cockpit to steady the yoke, replace the hammer, and reconfirm their course. The crew replaces their sleep clothes for their standard attire and prepare breakfast before landing in the giant gaping hawk-like cavern in the side of a mountain, famous for its many plane manufacturing tarmacs and new experiments in aviation, as well as its many bars. Hawkjaw, the only city in the kingdom drunk enough to deal with both Taint and his dad at the same time.

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