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"Ah, for fucks sake." Taint said as he kicked around in the dead leaves covering the forest floor. "Who the fuck throws a lighter?" he asked himself. The answer was Taint Bigsby throws lighters, but he hated that answer. Two minutes earlier, he threw it instead of a stick of dynamite in a fit of anger brought on by Valk being himself. Fourteen feet behind him was a black and smoldering smear on the ground.

"THIS IS BULLSHIT!" he yelled. "I traded half a fucking hog for that! King's ass!"

"What about it?" Topaz asked, trying to annoy Taint further.

"It's got bedsores." He replied. "From sitting on his throne. Also it's shitty. The King has a shitty ass. Plus, he's dead."

"Oh." Topaz finally said after a 30 second pause. She looked down, kicked a fallen branch a few inches, and jammed both hands into her coat pockets. "It's too cold. Let's go back to the plane." she suggested.

"No. Fuck that. Valk pissed me off and thats why we're out here looking for my lighter." Taint said, before turning around and looking deeper into the forest. He thought briefly of bears jumping out of bushes and mauling hikers, not because he suspected there was a bear nearby, but because he thought that sort of thing was awesome. Simultaneously, Taint and Topaz looked down, straight at the lighter, sitting neatly atop a small mound of dirt.

"There it-"

"FOUND IT!"

"Yeah, it was right-"

"HELL YEAH!!" Taint yelled. He scooped up his lighter, did a short hop onto a nearby tree stump, threw both fists into the air and brought them down in a flex before going "GYARRRRRRR!"

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