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With the economy in a depression and never before seen levels of demihuman hostility, many young men and women are picking up the dangerous profession of Adventuring. This is why overpopulation is not one of the problems listed in the previous sentence. Its estimated that one out of every ten young adventurers meet their end the same day they decide to heft their sword in the name of action and profit. Don't be another statistic. Read the rules listed below. Memorize them. If you're not the type to memorize things, then you're probably the type to get tattoos, so tattoo them on your arms.

1. Pick up everything, even if it doesn't look useful. You never know when you might need three torches at the same time, and it never hurts to carry a sledgehammer, even if you are a magician.

2. Don't try to communicate with anything that might try to eat you. Its eight feet tall, but it looks like a rabbit. Using a soft voice and holding out your hand so it can sniff you is a poor tactic compared to plunging a spear through its eyeball.

3. You are edible. You are delicious. You are a Slim Jim. You might think you're wearing armor, but ogres just see it as a shiny wrapper. They will snap in to you.

4. Don't go blindly tasting potions, even if theyre the same color as one you slammed down the next dungeon over. One cure potion might have been dyed red by one dungeon's alchemist to represent life, but another may have though red was a much more aggressive color, like a massive fireball.

5. Scrolls will mess your shit up. They will. Many dungeon lords will scatter about scrolls of summon monster around their fort as surprise attacks on unwary adventurers. There has also been reports of some dungeon masters hiding hand grenades in them. (We will reward any adventurer who provides information as to how this is done, provided this is the most recent printing of the field guide)

6. Rings are your best friend. Rings are rarely cursed and when they are its nothing major. The worst reported case of a cursed ring made its wearer only able to shit at noon every three days. If he missed his shot, he'd have to wait another three days. Another thing to remember, you can wear more than ten rings at a time. They don't have to be on YOUR fingers, just on a finger, and somewhere near your body. Severed hands on a bit of rope around your neck work great.

7. Run everywhere. Running is probably what you'll be doing the most. It is the key to survival. Even if you're in a peaceful village with nothing to hack to bits, and you want to go get a drink at the pub, run. Get good at it.

8. Make lots of friends. They can bail you out of grim situations, or at the very least, be picked off by a hidden bowman before you do. Remember that they also have gobs and gobs of equipment with them, and if they happen to die then there's not much they can do to make sure it stays theirs.

9. Always act like you're killing a zombie. Very few things can cope with having its face blown off.

10. Again, you are edible. Always keep an eye out for something that might want to eat you. This can include other adventurers.

11. IDENTIFY IDENTIFY IDENTIFY. Take it to the wizard! Cast a spell on it! Read a scroll (make sure its not rigged)! Look it up in this book! That crown you just scooped up might grant you protection from dragon breath, but theres a good chance that as soon as you put it on it'll sear a permanent dick shape on your forehead. And thats the best case when dealing with cursed equipment.

12. When in town always check for new editions of this book. Not only will it have new lifesaving information that older editions may not have, but its cheap, and chances are if you made it back to town you'll be carrying a small fortune of blood soaked gold and magical items.

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