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the waggoner
the waggonerspank #759
articles and general riff-raff exceeding your comprehension.
articles - for truelies - short stories - reviews - art - comics - video - games - music - reader mail - let's play - heckles - random insanity
#759 <- vinic did 132!awards! -> 
reader mail
A Fun New Game!
1 minutes, 23 seconds. ->
<- 9:49:26 am, monday, march 31st, 2008 pdteyeballed 120 times
The following was intended to be an e-mail sent out to the staff of the company I work for. Because my supervisor hates senses of humor, and apparently cleanliness, I was forced to post this on our internal forum, that no one checks. Looks like we're destined to be shitty.
===
Hey guys! Just letting you all know about a fun new game you all might enjoy. Actually, it's a pretty old game. I've been playing it for a while now, some of you dudes have as well, but a lot of you may enjoy getting into it, too.
It's called Cleaning Up After Yourself. The rules are simple:
1. Make a mess.
2. Clean it up.
No grinding! No surprise PVP attacks while you're in the middle of skinning a few large raptors! No repetitive raiding until you finally get your Soaring Beagle Headress to complete your tier-3 set! Just good, clean fun! It's a blast! Here are some examples of some winners and losers, so you can get the general idea of how it plays out:
The guy who flushed the toilet before I went in after him: Excellent! You win!
The guy who left plastic wrapping on the counter for little-to-know reason whatsoever: Top notch! You lose!
The guy who dropped a coke he got out of the vending machine after he saw a 5-chain in Puzzle Fighter and it made him giddy, then whiped it up while he was waiting for his turn: Nice job! You win!
The guy who left a 3-inch diameter cheese ring in one of the microwaves that's now caked on, adding a Burrito Doritos flavor to my pizza: Congratulations! You lost!
Cleaning Up After Yourself (or as we in the know call it, Being a Decent Human Being) is amazingly competitive, for all of you PVP-enthusiasts. Once I witnessed a an epic battle between two dudes on the Kitchen Fridge map, where each, armed with only their hands, both were throwing out their expired random food. It was amazing to behold, and inspiring.
Spread the word on this mostly underground ARG. Challenge eachother, and yourself. Clean the clock of the competition.
Hey guys! Just letting you all know about a fun new game you all might enjoy. Actually, it's a pretty old game. I've been playing it for a while now, some of you dudes have as well, but a lot of you may enjoy getting into it, too.
It's called Cleaning Up After Yourself. The rules are simple:
1. Make a mess.
2. Clean it up.
No grinding! No surprise PVP attacks while you're in the middle of skinning a few large raptors! No repetitive raiding until you finally get your Soaring Beagle Headress to complete your tier-3 set! Just good, clean fun! It's a blast! Here are some examples of some winners and losers, so you can get the general idea of how it plays out:
The guy who flushed the toilet before I went in after him: Excellent! You win!
The guy who left plastic wrapping on the counter for little-to-know reason whatsoever: Top notch! You lose!
The guy who dropped a coke he got out of the vending machine after he saw a 5-chain in Puzzle Fighter and it made him giddy, then whiped it up while he was waiting for his turn: Nice job! You win!
The guy who left a 3-inch diameter cheese ring in one of the microwaves that's now caked on, adding a Burrito Doritos flavor to my pizza: Congratulations! You lost!
Cleaning Up After Yourself (or as we in the know call it, Being a Decent Human Being) is amazingly competitive, for all of you PVP-enthusiasts. Once I witnessed a an epic battle between two dudes on the Kitchen Fridge map, where each, armed with only their hands, both were throwing out their expired random food. It was amazing to behold, and inspiring.
Spread the word on this mostly underground ARG. Challenge eachother, and yourself. Clean the clock of the competition.
you can e-mail Vinic at -> vinic at lardpirates which is dotted with a com -- or hop on contact page
lard pirates dawt com copyright © 2002-2008 lardpirates.com and vinic j. beverage & chainsaw dudley mckraken, also known as shawn baker & brad cruz: all rights reserved
all content copyright their respective authors/artists.
no portion of any content residing on lardpirates.com may be reprinted in any form without prior written consent -- this is serious business, the internet.
best viewed at a resolution at least 900 pixels wide, in any browser other than internet explorer for the love of god. try firefox! opera, even!
this website is much more badass with javascript enabled. if you cannot use javascript, then you need to hop in the delorian and get the hell out of 1995.
hosting provided by dreamhost. they are good people. i know, mysql is a bit slow, but whatever this ain't youtubespacebook, so get over it.
if you wish to bitch and moan at us, do so from our contact page.
all content copyright their respective authors/artists.
no portion of any content residing on lardpirates.com may be reprinted in any form without prior written consent -- this is serious business, the internet.
best viewed at a resolution at least 900 pixels wide, in any browser other than internet explorer for the love of god. try firefox! opera, even!
this website is much more badass with javascript enabled. if you cannot use javascript, then you need to hop in the delorian and get the hell out of 1995.
hosting provided by dreamhost. they are good people. i know, mysql is a bit slow, but whatever this ain't youtubespacebook, so get over it.
if you wish to bitch and moan at us, do so from our contact page.
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