---

The Shit Piece experience in a nutshell.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Here it is, the final chapter. And holy shit is it long. But stick with it valiant Lardpirates, the finish line is in sight!

No, really. See, it's that blue banner across the sea of boiling shit there. Look!

- Avatar
I'm coming at this one straight and ugly.

- Miles Edgeworth
Alcohol fridge fully stocked.

- Commander Ladd
Hopped up on enough performance enhancers to tear a cow's head right off.

- Sturm
Repulsors primed and ready for action.

- Simon
It's the FINAL BATTLE!

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.


Chapter 19: The Greatest Mystery of Them ALL

- Alan Smithee
How did this fanfic grow this big?

- Spoony Spoonicus
I can only blame a high dose of radiation. It never makes things smaller or nicer.

- clobberpuppy
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

- Spoony Spoonicus
69,105.

- Avatar
Just how long can SorceryGeniusLina make a fool of herself?

- Spoony Spoonicus
For that, I have no answer.

Luffy wanted to be alone for a while. He didn’t know why or understand why Wrath let him just leave but he was glad for it. He couldn’t face her right now, well, either of the girls that had come into his life and had come to mean something to him...Vivi...but most of all Nami...


Nami...


What was Wrath really planning to do? And what would Nami’s role be? He had to do something to stop whatever it was that Wrath was planning to do.

- Megido
Superfluous sentences one and all.

If he hurt a single hair on Nami’s head that bastard would pay!

- Miles Edgeworth
Yes, we know. You repeat it every single chance you get, like a kid who just learned a new curse word.

Luffy thought to himself. But in all reality he was powerless to do anything about it. There was something about Wrath that made him untouchable to Luffy. What was it though?


Luffy was walking down a semi-deserted passage way when he heard the sound of approaching footsteps. Was he being pursued? Had his presence been missed? Luffy pressed himself up against the cold stone wall and held his breath. Maybe he should try and get to the others, and maybe together, they could all defeat Wrath and save Nami from Wrath’s evil clutches.

- Avatar
This whole chapter is reading like a list of overused sentences from pop-up books.

Luffy was almost positive Wrath had used some kind of brainwashing technique on Nami to make her act the way she was.


That couldn’t be the real Nami right?

- Alan Smithee
That's right! The real Nami isn't an emo wuss. None of the characters in here are the real ones; they're butchered clones.

Luffy’s mind was full of questions and somewhat distracted so he didn’t notice one of Wrath’s minions until he was right in front of him.


‘Damn!’ Luffy thought giving a bashful grin to the dark-robed guard.


But to Luffy’s surprise the guard seemed more nervous than he was. “I’m glad I found you...” He was saying suddenly. “The trap has been set for the vermin just as you requested. It will only be a matter of time before the pests are eliminated.”


“Trap?” Luffy questioned aloud in confusion.


“The trap for the intruders...the Straw Hat Pirates.” The guard explained, beads of sweat were forming on his brow.


Luffy’s eyes widened. A trap had been set for his nakama?! “Explain yourself, why has a trap been set for my friends?!” Luffy ejaculated grabbing the guard’s shirt front and pulling him up to him so that they were nose to nose.

- Alys Brangwin
Ugh, that was the WORST word you could have possibly chosen.

- Alan Smithee
What? There's going to be some yaoi lemons now? Oh, nevermind. Just terrible wording, again.

“Uh...well...you see.” The guard stuttered as he trembled in fear. “It’s what you wanted isn’t it?! You said you wanted them dead! My lord we were only following your orders I’m afraid...we can’t stop it!”


Luffy’s eyes narrowed as he tried to make sense of what he had just heard. And then he realized the guard had just called him ‘My lord.’ “What did you just call me?” Luffy’s voice was shaking.


“I don’t understand what you mean, My Lord.” The guard continued to tremble.


“I mean that ‘My Lord’. Why do you call me that?!” Luffy shook the guard.


“My Lord Wrath-” The guard was startled as Luffy suddenly let go of his shirt. The guard took this opportunity to slump to the floor.


Luffy’s mind was spinning. Wrath...why had this guard just called him Wrath?! Why?

- Commander Ladd
Like it's not painfully obvious by now.

He couldn’t understand it and yet in the depths of his subconscious Luffy knew he knew something...


“Argh!!!” Luffy grasped his head in pain. Something...was fighting within him. Something that didn’t want him to know the truth. “What’s wrong with me? Damn it you! I’m not Wrath so why the hell did you just call me that?!”


“Uh...but you are Captain Wrath, sir.” The guard said without a trace of doubt in his voice.


“And what would make you say that?” Luffy demanded.


“It was you...who gave me the order personally sir, to set the trap and dispose of the Straw Hat Pirates.” The guard explained.


“I gave? Impossible! I’ve never even seen you before...if this is your idea of some sort of sick joke...dammit Wrath! This must be his doing. He’s trying to set me up to take the blame for the destruction of the world!”

- Alys Brangwin
Who's going to be left to blame you if that's the case?

Luffy grasped the front of the shirt of the guard again and brought him roughly to his feet. “Where are my friends.”


ooo


The stairs seemed to go down forever into the earth. It was obvious these stairs hadn’t been stepped on for years...a thin layer of slim covered each step making their decent precarious.

- Alan Smithee
Slim? Slim what? Slim Jim? Oh, did you mean SLIME?!

Shanks was leading the group a torch upraised in his hand, followed by Ace. Tashigi was next followed by Zoro. The others were coming down behind them. Tashigi’s glasses were fogging over it was so damp and humid in this underground stairway. She keep having to take her glasses off and wipe off the thin layer of fog that had formed on them.

- Alan Smithee
Keep? I think you meant KEPT. Nineteen chapters, and not one of them was proofread. I'm really sure of that now.

It was during her third time that as she looked down to see where her next step was she missed it...


“Ahh!” Tashigi squeaked as she fell forward. She closed her eyes preparing to find herself flying into Ace and then Shanks causing them to all go flying down the stairwell. But then she felt someone grasp her arm fiercely from behind. She was spun around and found herself being pulled into the arms of someone warm...


When Tashigi collected herself she found herself staring back up at Zoro’s expressionless face. “Zoro...”


“Don’t get the wrong idea...I was just looking out for the others.” Zoro explained as he released her. He had wanted to hold on to her a bit longer but was unnerved that he felt that way. He looked back at her face...that face that without her glasses so much resembled her...his Kuina. Zoro shook his head. Kuina was dead. But he couldn’t help but wonder...


A slight blush tinged Tashigi’s cheeks. “Of course” Tashigi agreed with a nod.

- Avatar
The most touching scene since that one in Star Wars where Anakin compares Padme to sand.

- SHITTLE
WHEN WILL PEOPLE REALIZE STAR WARS IS LAME AND WATCH SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T SUCK?

Melody looked at their exchange and her heart clenched. ‘So his heart already belongs to another...my love did we once look the way they did? Did we once have hope for a future together before...my sister came between us? I wonder what is to become of them?’


Finally they had made it to the bottom of the staircase and were now in a giant hallway.


“At the end of this hallway should be the entrance to the temple.” Raiden informed them.


“Right, let’s go then.” Shanks said with a nod. The Straw Hat pirates had just about made it half way through the long hall way when suddenly the ground beneath their feet began to tremble.


“What is it?” Chopper asked in a small voice.

- Alan Smithee
...BLOOD. Oh, wait. This isn't a Resident Evil shitfic.

- Miles Edgeworth
There was more than enough blood to go around in the earlier chapters.

“Is it an earthquake?” Tashigi breathed.


“Earthquake? Why now all of a sudden?” Zoro sounded frustrated at the prospect.


“It might not be what we think.” Ace murmured ominously. “I have a bad feeling about this.”


“Stay sharp, let’s continue,” Shanks ordered taking a step forward when suddenly a large chunk of the ceiling came crashing down.


“Look out!” Tashigi cried as she unsheathed her sword and prepared to cut the rock in two.

- Commander Ladd
Something which she's shown no evidence of being capable of.

“GET OUT OF THE WAY!” Came Zoro’s frantic voice as he pushed past Tashigi and stood underneath the falling chunk of ceiling. Unsheathing his three swords simultaneously he cried, “Demon Slash!” Steel met with rock and shards of rock were sent flying into the air.


Tashigi sighed in relief as she sheathed her sword. Although she was a little miffed that Zoro had stepped in and stopped her from using her own skills with the sword, she couldn’t help but wonder why he had done that...


“We’re not home free yet.” Zoro said looking up at the ceiling. “Run.”


“What?” Tashigi asked in disbelief.


“Run! The whole ceiling is caving in!” Zoro said as he grabbed Tashigi’s hand and began to pull her forward along with him.


Melody’s eyes trailing behind them...

- clobberpuppy
"Dude, that's so gross! Haha! How do you do that?!"

The Straw Hat pirates all began to run as the ceiling began to collapse around them. They only had seconds to get to the end of the hallway and to the entrance to the Temple of Mother Nature before they would be killed, buried beneath a pile of rubble to never see the light of day again.


“It’s some sort of trap.” Ace said as he ran. “Just look the ceiling isn’t caving in, in a natural way. It’s coming down in large cubes. We’re supposed to be killed here.”


“Damn it!” Ussop cried. “I’m too young and beautiful to die.”

- Spoony Spoonicus
What the fuck? What is this, Alvin and the Chipmunks?

Suddenly the part of the ceiling in front of them began to come down in cubes too fast for them to run past in time. The cubes gathered until there was a wall in front of them.


“Dang, we can’t get through.” Zoro said looking at the wall.

- Dudley
Finally, someone has effectively described what its like to play Tetris against a Japanese dude. This whole scene. With falling blocks and you underneath them desperately trying to survive.

“Are we going to die?”

- Alan Smithee
Probably not. But I think some of my brain cells did.

Tashigi questioned softly. She looked back at Zoro and their eyes met. Through that look many unspoken agreements were made...they had a lot of talking to do if they made it through this alive.


ooo


“Kuuusssoooo!!!” Luffy cried as he sprinted down the hallway.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Oh for fuck's sake, just say "shit". You've done it dozens of times already.

He just had to get to his friends in time before...Luffy shook his head. No! He would not allow his friends to die. Especially if he was in fact responsible for...but that would be insane! Luffy wasn’t crazy...was he?!

- Sturm
No, not at all. Not even the slightest bit. You are a pillar of sanity.

Luffy shook his head and continued to run.


He could feel the ground trembling beneath his feet. Had it already started?! He turned and found himself in the main hallway that lead to the entrance of the Temple of Mother Nature. This was the hall they would have to use to get there, it was the only way. Luffy picked up his pace and made his way down the hall until he met with a dead end.


“What the?” Luffy said as he looked at the wall before him in a stupor. “This wall isn’t supposed to be here...”


“AHHHHHHHHH.” Suddenly the sound of screams could be heard.


Luffy’s eyes widened as he recognized those voices - his nakama were in trouble! And they were just on the other side of this wall. They must have been trapped on the other side on purpose. Somehow he had to get through to them.


“Gomu Gomu no Gatling gun!!!” Luffy cried as he unleashed a series of punches at the stone wall in front of him. As his punches hit the thick stone wall little damage was made, only small round indents. “Kussooo! I need to get through to them no matter what! Gomu Gomu no Gatling Gun!” Luffy unleashed his series of punches again and again. Soon the stone wall was clipping away bit by bit...as his fists were becoming bloodied by the effort to break through the grossly thick stone barricade.

- Commander Ladd
Never mind that he can blast through 50 feet of bedrock with one furious punch.

- Spoony Spoonicus
And if Zoro can cleave through something as durable as Mihawk's sword any time he wants a stone barrier should be no problem.

Zoro has his arms wrapped around Tashigi as he tried to shield her body from the pieces of stone that were falling around them.


The others were running around in a panic trying to avoid the randomly falling pieces.


“You know...up until ten years ago I’ve had amnesia...” Tashigi suddenly found herself confiding to Zoro.

- Miles Edgeworth
That sentence is so malformed I can't tell if she HAS it or if she HAD it.

- Sturm
At least Tashigi's requisite mental problem isn't full-on retardation like the rest of the cast.

- Dudley
I shouted "FUCK YOU!" out loud at this line.

“I can’t remember my own childhood...my friends...who my family was...and for some reason I feel like I’ve been missing something very important...but when you’re near me it feels like I’ve gotten that part of myself back.”


Zoro’s eyes widened as he listened to what she was saying. Could there be even the remotest possibility that the woman he now held in his arms was in fact Kuina?

- Sturm
If I'm not mistaken, she just committed one of the big taboos of One Piece fandom.

The very same Kuina whom he had made his childhood promise on her grave that he would become the strongest swordsman in the world, carrying on her own dream through him. The very same Kuina whom he had had his first crush on. The very same Kuina who was his first love...

- Commander Ladd
Saw this one coming a hemisphere away.

- Spoony Spoonicus
What kind of ridiculous crap is this?

A) Kuina is dead and has been for eight years.
B) Tashigi only knew of Zoro through his reputation as a Pirate Hunter, and doesn't recognize him when they first meet.
C) Tashigi, while competent with a sword, is nowhere near Zoro's level (and is easily defeated during their brief scuffle). On the other hand, Zoro never ONCE defeated Kuina despite challenging her 2001 times.


Suddenly Zoro heard it. That sound...that familiar sound. Could it be!?

- Commander Ladd
It was. It was one of our brains blowing a fuse at the sheer stupidity of this fanfic!

“Luffy!” Zoro suddenly cried as he released Tashigi and spun around to face the stone wall. He placed a hand upon it and there he felt it - vibrations. Someone was trying to get through the wall and he knew of only one person who was reckless enough to try something so stupid. “Luffy you bastard!” Zoro said fondly. “Tashigi stand back.”


“What are you going to do?” Tashigi asked in surprise.


“We’re going to get out the hell out of here that’s what.” Zoro smirked at her causing Tashigi to fidget nervously. Zoro turned his attention back to the wall. “Here goes nothing! Demon Slash!” Zoro’s three swords were out of their sheaths and flashing in the torchlight. As one of the swords gleamed Tashigi found she couldn’t take her eyes off of it...that sword that marvelous magnificent

- clobberpuppy
Mad Madam Mim!

- Spoony Spoonicus
Well, that's obscure.

sword....


ooo


Luffy fists as they connected with the stone wall could feel that on the other side something was also trying to make a dent in the wall. He smirked. He knew his nakama would catch on quick, after all they were always a lot quicker than he had ever been.


ooo


“Come on everyone we have to help him!” Shanks ordered. Shanks removed his own sword and began to hack away at the stone wall.

- Miles Edgeworth
Awfully nice of Wrath not to confiscate it while torturing you senseless.

Ace summoned his Fire Fire fruit powers and began hurling fireballs towards the places where Zoro’s and Shanks’ swords were aiming.


Soon the Straw Hat pirates were all joining in making the stone wall before them their common enemy that needed to be defeated. Summoning their own unique , using those powers together, as one, they fought together drawing upon each other’s strength.


Just as the wall in front of them began to give way the ceiling above them had begun to come down. They only had a matter of seconds before they lost their chance at survival. As Zoro, Luffy, and the others each sent their own attacks at the wall finally a small opening was made.


“Go! Go! Go!” Zoro cried as he waved everyone past him.


Everyone was quickly running past through the small opening until it was down to Zoro, Tashigi and Melody.


“Ladies first,” Zoro smirked.


Melody was just about to go through the opening when she looked behind her to see that Tashigi wasn’t moving. “What is it?” Melody questioned.


“My foot it’s stuck.”

- Sturm
Yet you said nothing about it until RIGHT NOW.

Tashigi explained as she began to yank at her leg, her foot had gotten lodged between two fallen chunks of ceiling.


“Melody go on ahead, I’ll stay behind and help Tashigi.” Zoro told Melody.

- Dudley
Zoro is the last person I'd want to help me get my foot unstuck. His solution to the problem is "chop the foot off."

“But-“ Melody was cut off.


“Go!” Zoro ordered as he unsheathed Kuina’s sword

- Spoony Spoonicus
You can at least take the time to look up its name if you're going to reference it so often.

It's Wadō Ichimonji, by the way.

and ran towards Tashigi. The ceiling was already beginning to fall down right where they were.

Melody bit her lip and knew what she had to do.


“Demon Slash!” Zoro cried as his attack hit the stones around Tashigi’s foot and blasted them to bits. Zoro quickly grabbed Tashigi’s hand and was about to pull her along. “Let’s get out of here.” When he looked up. It was too late...the entire ceiling was coming down upon them and there was no way even with Zoro’s current skills that he could save them from the inevitable


“Song Song Wave!!!” Came the unexpected voice of Melody. She had her flute to her lips now and suddenly Zoro and Tashigi felt a rush of air when suddenly they were hit full force with a gale and sent flying through the small opening and to the other side.


Tashigi found herself on top of Zoro and blushed before quickly getting to her feet.

- Alys Brangwin
No immediate sex? At least someone in this story has some dignity.

- Miles Edgeworth
It's not going to last.

- Alys Brangwin
I know.

Her eyes then widened in shock, “Melody!!!” She cried as she looked back to the small opening, but all she saw were the pieces of rock coming down until the hole was blocked off once more. Tashigi turned her head and upon seeing Zoro flew into his arms and buried her face in his chest as tears streamed down her face.


Melody had sacrificed her life to save them...


“Why? Why would she do that?” Tashigi looked up at Zoro, tears glittering in her eyes.

- Alan Smithee
*COUGH COUGH* MARY SUE *COUGH*

Zoro looked down at her, his eyes filled with emotion, “I think it’s because she wanted us to be together...” And without saying another word he lowered his face to her until their lips touched in a soft kiss.

- Alan Smithee
See? Mary Sue match-making wins again.

- Dio Brando
She'd best not be coming back a THIRD time.

- Miles Edgeworth
Don't jinx it.

As they kissed they could have sworn they heard the song of a flute playing, it was a sad song but it was also beautiful and filled with hope.

- Dudley
It was nearly impossible, but Melody's flute managed to jam itself in her ass when she was crushed to death, and as her body expelled all its waste as bodies often do when they die, it played this song.

ooo


Nami casually made her way into an inner chamber where she approached none other than the wardrobe. It had been moved from the Going Merry and brought here. Nami opened the two blackwood doors to reveal the mirror. There staring back at her was her reflection...


The Nami inside the mirror looked haggard and worn, her eyes were red and puffy. When she saw that her other self had returned though a spark of defiance filled her eyes. She then began to bang her hands against the invisible barrier that separated the Nami in the mirror world from the one that was now outside it.


“Let me out of here!” Nami demanded. “You tricked me! I...I just wanted to be free and you...you’ve trapped me here!

- Sturm
By your definition of "free", I think she did a pretty good job.


What do you plan to do anyways?”


A smile formed on the red-painted lips of Nami. “What I intend to do...is take over the world with Captain Wrath at my side.”


Nami’s eyes widened in shock. “Take over the world? Wrath?! What about Luffy?”


“Ah, yes, Luffy, there’s no need to worry about him.” Nami said knowingly.

- clobberpuppy
It's like one of those cartoons where they meet a two-headed dragon or ogre or something who constantly argues with itself, only it's even less funny!

Nami stared back at herself in disbelief. She could not believe what was happening. Even now she didn’t fully understand it but...apparently a part of the mirror had been alive...barely but nevertheless alive. All it needed to become fully alive was a willing soul or at least part of one to give itself up unto the evil spirit of the mirror and become one with it.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Why does ANY of this surprise you?

Now the being before Nami was a part of herself, the darkest part, and the evil spirit of the mirror united as one.


“Why are you here?” Nami questioned back taking in the odd clothing her other self had chosen to wear. Nami would never have worn something so provocative, so revealing...would she? Is that what her inner self desired? To be some sort of exhibitionist slut?

- Alan Smithee
No. It's what the shitfic author wants you to be. *Puke noises*

- Spoony Spoonicus
There has been no reason for anyone in history to ever be this angsty. You've beaten every fucking atom of this dead horse into dust, give it a rest already.

The red-painted lips’ smile turned deadly. “I’m here to tie up lose ends. I’m afraid my dear you have to go.” Suddenly Nami removed a dagger from her cleavage and held it up in her right hand preparing to bring it down upon the glass of the mirror and shatter it.

- Miles Edgeworth
Even in Bizarro World, everything is stored in one's cleavage.

- clobberpuppy
You'd think she'd store it in her--



- Alys Brangwin
NO.

- Loudass Frat Boy
more like hell yea, boy!!

“No...” Nami murmured as she realized what was happening. “No...No!!!” Luffy...

- Spoony Spoonicus
I'm supposed to be sympathetic here? You completely brought this on yourself when you decided to bring the mirror with you despite it NEARLY KILLING YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE CREW.

I know I've repeated that line a lot, but damn, doing something that moronic just blows my mind.

ooo


A chill went down Luffy’s spine. “You ok Luffy?” Shanks said patting Luffy on the back perhaps a little harder than would have been necessary.


“Uh...yea it’s just I thought I heard someone call my name. Strange.” Luffy scratched the back of his neck.


“You’re just imagining things.” Shanks smirked at him.


“Just look at your hands, dimwit.” Zoro smirked at Luffy. “You’ve gone and overdid it again.”

- Alys Brangwin
Try "overdone".

Luffy looked down bashfully at his bloodied hands. “Yea well...I couldn’t just let you guys die. You are my nakama.” Luffy raised his head and smiled back at everyone.


“Damn straight!” Ussop cried. “I never doubted for a single moment that we wouldn’t come through that! That the miracle of friendship would prevail over overwhelming odds, odds so great and terrible that only the Great Captain Ussop could have stood before such danger and not so much as tremble in fear!”

- Sturm
He watches way too many Disney movies.

- Commander Ladd
Hell, he does just about ANYTHING other than act like Usopp actually would.

“Riiiight.” Zoro smiled. “And what was with all that running and screaming seconds before ‘Zoro save me! Save me!’.”


Ussop turned bright red. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”


Luffy looked back at Shanks and the lacerations on his chest and back. Another chill went down Luffy’s spine as he thought about how Shanks had gotten those wounds. He had probably been tortured by Wrath...the whip had probably come down hard.


A cracking sound filling the air...the cat-o-nine flying through the air looking like black snakes until as it hit across Shanks’ pale skin, a trail of red was left in its wake...

- Franziska von Karma
A simple bullwhip is all a true master requires for pain!

“Luffy...Luffy!!” Zoro’s voice broke Luffy out of his daze.


“Huh? What...” Luffy shook his head. Just what were those images only seconds ago that had filled his mind? They had been so real so...filled with familiarity. What could that mean? The images...suddenly took up all of Luffy’s mind. They were becoming clearer now...the cracking sound, the feel of the leather in the palms of his hands, the smell of fresh blood...

- Commander Ladd
Got all this the first time.

“Ahhhhh!!!” Luffy screamed. And tried to will the visions to leave his mind. What the hell is wrong with me...what’s happening to me? Luffy looked back at the shocked expressions on his friends’ faces. He couldn’t face them right now. He couldn’t stay here...he could put them in danger. Somehow Luffy knew this. “I’m sorry, minna.” Luffy said before breaking off into a run and leaving his nakama behind.


ooo


Nami smiled as she made her way back into the main chamber where the black obelisk stood in the center looking like some sort of black diamond.

- Alan Smithee
And this fanfic stood in my vision looking like some sort of rotten shit. Stupid, unnecessary descriptions.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Do you even think about what you're writing before you type it out? Not only is this apparently NOT the same Nami (and thus she'd never have been here), but that descriptor of the obelisk/diamond (what?) doesn't even make any sense.

She could feel the blood in her veins tingling with untapped power. She had definitely chosen the right victim to use as a host. Now she would hold the secret power of Atlantis in her hands and become the most powerful woman in the world!

- Megido
As if this story needs another hackneyed, last-minute villain.

Suddenly Luffy entered the chamber and before him he saw her - Nami. At first he felt relieved, he had felt somehow that she might have been in danger. But that feeling was quickly replaced with a dark jealousy as he watched Wrath walk up to her and wrap his arm around her bringing her close.


“The time is upon us, my dear,” Wrath turned his masked face down to look upon the woman in his arms. “Are you ready to make our dreams come true.”


“Yes, my love.” Nami replied. “Together we shall gain the power of ages and rule the world.”


“Now, my pet,” Wrath was saying as he led Nami towards the black obelisk. “Offer yourself up onto the power of Atlantis and become one with it, its medium. You shall be mine afterwards to control...to command.”

- clobberpuppy
"With an offer like that, how can I refuse?!"

- Alys Brangwin
I suppose we shouldn't be surprised, since she seems to enjoy being used and abused by every man she meets.

“As you wish.” Nami said as she was drawn by an unseen force towards the obelisk. There was a hum...a calling drawing her forth. The obelisk seemed to be vibrating with a song only she could hear. Nami walked forward closer to the obelisk until she placed a hand on its silky black surface and then her hand passed through it. She then slowly began to step inside the obelisk...


Luffy watched in horror as Nami disappeared inside the black, crystalline obelisk.

- Megido
Can this chapter go even two paragraphs without repeating itself?

He had a bad feeling about all this but once again he felt powerless to do anything about it. “Nami! Nami no!!” Luffy cried. But it was as if his cry fell on deaf ears.


Wrath was laughing now...a haunting laugh that was echoing throughout the chamber.

- SOUND FX
(Soda Popinski laugh)

The black crystal began to glow with a shimmering blue aura. Suddenly the ground began to tremble as well as the entire temple.


“Soon! Soon this temple will rise! And then the power...the power will be revealed!!!!” Wrath was saying.


“The power...the power...the power...”

- ERROR
ERROR. INFINITE SHIT LOOP DETECTED.

INITIATED ESCAPE PROCEDURE.

ESCAPE PROCEDURE STATUS: FAILED.

Came a soft shaky voice.

Luffy turned to see that it was Vivi. She was huddled in a corner of the chamber her arms wrapped around herself as she rocked back and force.

- Alan Smithee
Back and force? How the hell did the author miss that? Or maybe she thinks that's what "back and forth" is?

Luffy was at her side in an instant. “Vivi...vivi speak to me.”


“The power it mustn’t be allowed to be awoken...the end is near...everyone will die...I...Ahhhhh!!! I can see it! I can feel it! Everyone’s pain and suffering!” Vivi cried as she shook her head from side to side, both of her hands on either side of her head.


“Vivi what’s wrong with you?!” Luffy demanded thoroughly shaken at seeing Vivi this way. Usually she was the cool, calm, and collected model of a true princess but now...

- Spoony Spoonicus
Say what? Vivi was always the first one to freak out when something went wrong.

“I’ve kept a secret from everyone...” Vivi was saying. “Ever since I was little I’ve had the curse. The curse to see things I shouldn’t be seeing. Things...that haven’t happened yet. In my country it’s a curse punishable by death and so until now I haven’t told anyone about it but I can no longer ignore its messages to me.

- Miles Edgeworth
Oh lord, now Vivi has the Shining.

- Master Shake
Let's go!

- Miles Edgeworth
Where are we going?

- Master Shake
To EXPLOIT HER!

It told me too, that I would never gain your love. It showed me that the woman whom you are destined for is Nami...but even so I wanted to come between that love...

“I’m so sorry Luffy. How can you ever forgive me? I knew of the strong bond the two of you shared and yet I tried to come between you and now...the future has changed and it could be because of what I’ve done. I’ve separated the two of you and now...the future...the future is dark. You must save her...in order to save everyone...Luffy it’s our only hope.”


“Save her...Nami needs saving?” Luffy questioned. “How can I save her Vivi? Tell me how?!”


Vivi looked back up at Luffy, “Do you love her?”


Luffy was taken aback by the question. “Uh...what do you mean?”


“Do you love Nami Luffy?” Vivi persisted.


“Well I...I’m still not very sure what love really even is...but I...when I see her I get this funny feeling in the pit of my belly, it’s a happy feeling. And when she smiles, I feel like I could take on the entire world! Her smile...is brighter than the sun to me and I would do anything to protect that smile.


“But when Nami is sad I feel like I could just die. I feel sad when she’s sad and I don’t really understand why. I just want to see Nami happy, always. When she’s sad it’s like a cold, rainy day. I wish her smile would just come back and make the clouds go away with its shine. And then there’s how she smells...like sun kissed oranges, covered in dew drops. She smells...delicious. Kinda like meat but better.

- Alan Smithee
Wow. Luffy has become quite the poet.

- Dudley
Well, this explains all the post-murder scrogging.

“When I don’t see her around...I miss her. I want to be with her. Sometimes I think what it would be like if Nami decided to leave...and water starts coming out of my eyes. I feel lost. Nami...she’s like my guiding star. I don’t know what I would do without her at my side. I would do anything to keep her with me, to keep her happy. I would die for her if I had to. Is that love Vivi?”


Vivi smiled. “Yes, Luffy, that is love. Now...tell her you love her Luffy before it’s too late.” A single tear trickled down Vivi’s cheek as she turned her head away from Luffy.


“Vivi...I...” Luffy was saying.


“Just go Luffy! Go!!” Vivi screamed.


Luffy took one last look at his friend before running off towards the black obelisk and Wrath.

- Sturm
Awfully nice of the author to give Vivi an important role considering how much she seems to hate everyone but Nami.

I'm being generous with that assumption, by the way.

ooo


Something was wrong...terribly wrong...


Nami sunk to her knees. It felt like the energy was being sucked out of her from somewhere. She looked back at the invisible barrier which separated her from reality and sighed. She was grateful she had escaped with her life...that had been a close one. Her other self was about to finish her off and destroy the mirror when suddenly she had turned and left.

- Sturm
"I'm one inch away from getting rid of you for good, but now I have to go."

- Spoony Spoonicus
Looks like some of Nami's stupidity has rubbed off on Evil Nami.

A close call indeed. But now...she felt like she was dying anyways. What the hell was happening? She could feel her energy leaving her...her body becoming weaker and weaker. Was this the result of her other half awakening the power of Atlantis? If that was so then that meant she could feel what her other self was feeling...and if that were so that meant that one affected the other...

- Megido
Do you have any evidence to back this theory up or is this all wild conjecture?

And if that was true then maybe just maybe she had a chance. Nami looked around her in the barren space. It mimicked the room just outside the invisible barrier looking exactly the same as the chamber...every detail was the same...even the dagger on the floor. A dagger? Where had that come from. Her other self must have dropped it during her rush to leave.


Nami ran over and picked it up. She then took a deep breath and plunged the dagger into her arm.

- Goth Dudley
When life gives you lemons, kill yourself.

ooo


Meanwhile...
- SOUND FX



The Nami inside of the obelisk let out a piercing scream. That bitch...what the hell does she think she’s doing?!


“Nami!!!” Luffy cried in distress upon hearing Nami’s scream.


Wrath too also appeared concerned as his mirthful laughter had stopped.


ooo


Nami gritted her teeth against the pain as she stabbed her arm again and again. She would not let herself be a slave...to herself. She would overcome this. This pain was nothing...compared to what the world would feel if Wrath really did succeed in his wrapped plan to take it over. The power of Atlantis...could only be a bad thing as far as she was concerned. She just had to stop all this somehow.


Suddenly, Nami noticed the barrier of glass in front of her shimmer...it was as if there was no barrier between her and reality.

- The Guardian
In the author's twisted little world, suicide is ALWAYS the answer.

- Spoony Spoonicus
I'd ask how mutliating herself somehow let her return to reality, but after reading eighteen chapters of nonsensical bullshit I really don't care anymore.

Nami smiled. This was her chance! She quickly ran through the barrier and back into reality. As she came through the mirror she was suddenly hit with

- Dudley
A sheet of glass, because she's an idiot.

the feeling of being lost in a large ocean. Her mind reeled and then it was over. But the feeling still remained...


Something was still wrong but what? Nami looked down at her hands and gasped. They were slightly transparent. Nami took a deep breath trying to get a hold of herself and just as suddenly her hands appeared to be normal again. What could this mean? If she was real again why would she disappear unless...she wasn’t real at all.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Great, now we've wandered into Final Fantasy X. Can you please, just once, get an idea from something that doesn't suck?

Her other self now possessed her body so that meant Nami was nothing more than a soul fragment.


And a soul cannot survive in the real world without a body forever. It would not be long before Nami would just fade away. Nami shivered with this realization. She had limited time to do what she had to do. She had to find her other half try and stop her and get her body back before it was too late.

- Miles Edgeworth
Once again, magically equipped with any knowledge necessary to advance the plot. Not that I'm complaining; the faster we get out of here the better.

ooo


The ground was breaking...the once buried Temple of Mother Nature was just as Wrath had said rising once again to see the light of day. The ground above broke away as the temple rose, an unseen force willing this to be.


The obelisk continued to glow with the mysterious power that Nami was unleashing.


In a matter of moments the temple was once again above ground. Through the temple’s glass domes the sky could be seen over head. But the temple itself was changing...changing as it became engulfed in a blue light. The temple was becoming bigger more complex and the area around the obelisk was also changing.

- clobberpuppy
Transformers, Robots in Disguise!

- Sturm
This one's name is Suck-Bus.

The obelisk was now on a raised pillar of rock

- Dudley
This is generally what an obelisk is. So it's an obelisk on an obelisk.

that was raising higher and higher into the air. Pieces of rocks shot out from the sides of the pillar looking like spikes, these two were glowing with the strange energy. Wrath had managed to stay next to the obelisk and so he to was being raised above the ground.


Luffy had not been so lucky and had been left behind.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Now he had to take the stairs.

He watched helplessly as Nami was taken farther and farther away from him.

- Dudley
Slingshot yourself up there, dumbass! Christ hell, when a character has a superpower, always keep in mind that he has a fucking superpower.

- Spoony Spoonicus
This story is the polar opposite of the Super Friends; while Superman can pull another ability out of his ass any time the plot calls for it, Luffy mysterously LOSES his powers when they would actually be useful.

“Yes this is it! The power! The power!” Wrath was crying out as he began to stroke the surface of the obelisk. “You are doing so well my dear. Continue to awaken the power. Let it surround this place and you...become one with the power once again as you have been destined to be!”

- Megido
Uuuughhh.

- Dudley
Wrath finally got himself a Wii!

“I feel the power...”

- clobberpuppy
By the power of Grayskull!

Nami began to say. “But my own life energy is being sucked away into this crystal I fear...I fear I will be consumed by the power, my love.”


“You must be strong for both our sakes. You must fulfill your promise to me. Give me the power to take over the world. Together it will be ours!” Wrath told her soothingly.


“I will try,” Nami agreed as the temple continued to change. Soon the obelisk itself began to change and grow until it began to resemble something more like a dark sphere. It then began to rise from the pillar until it was hovering in midair above it. “I can feel it...the world around me...the rocks...the trees...the sea...I can feel it and...I can control it.”


“Yes! Yes you’ve done it! Now! First we shall test this power. My love, make the world shake! Make everyone tremble before our power!” Wrath commanded.

- Dudley
STOP! Re-read the last four paragraphs, but this time, use the voice of Dr. Weird for Wrath and Steve for Nami!

- Avatar
This guy is getting obnoxiously repetitive.

And coming from someone whose dialog consists mostly of "name" "job" and "bye", that's saying a lot.


“As you wish, my love.”

- Avatar
She's not much better either.

Nami agreed and began to concentrate her power. She envisioned the continents of the world shaking, the islands of the Grand Line trembling from an unseen force...and so it was.


“It’s too late!” Vivi cried out to the bewildered Luffy. “It has already begun. The power has been awaken...the earth is in pain. And soon...its people shall suffer...soon the power will go out of control and the world will be destroyed!”


“No...it can’t be.” Luffy murmured. “Nami would never do something like this...Nami...”


“Luffy.” Came a weak voice from behind him.


Luffy turned around and was thoroughly shocked to see Nami standing behind him. She looked pale and weak but more like the normal Nami he had come to know and love. “Nami?! What are you doing here...aren’t you inside that glowing black Mystery Sphere?”


Nami looked up at the top of the pillar where the black sphere was hovering, swirling with silver and blue energy. “I...am here...but I am also there. Oh, Luffy it’s hard to explain but you have to get me up to that sphere!” She stumbled forward in her weakened condition. “I...leave it to you Captain.” She echoed the words she had told him once before.


Luffy smiled back at her. “I don’t really understand what is going on here but leave it to me!” Luffy quickly hoisted Nami onto his back and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She leaned her face against his back in breathed in his scent. Would this be the last time she was ever this close to him?


Luffy quickly made his way over to the pillar and grabbed onto two spikes, he then began to pull himself up. Up, and up and up. How far had the pillar grown, how far away was the black sphere anyways...a 100 meters at least. He grunted as he pulled himself and Nami up using the spikes above him and letting his feet find footings on those spikes that were below.


It was slow going with the added weight of Nami

- Alan Smithee
What? Souls have weight?

and the odd random placement of the spikes

- Dr. Orpheus
Atlanteans have impeccably poor taste in architecture!

but Luffy would never let such things stop him. Nami noticed that Luffy’s breath was coming in and out in short gasps. He was once again putting himself through hell for her. She vaguely remembered a similar time when using his bare hands and feet Luffy had scaled a mountain side to get Nami to the doctor’s in time.


And here he was again helping her to get to her fated destination. She would once again be lost without him. Her heart swelled with feelings for him. She loved him so much and yet...there was still so much between them...


She could feel her grasp around Luffy’s neck slipping. She was having one of her fits again.

- Miles Edgeworth
Fits of stupidity, or this this something else?

She could see her own hands coming in and out of visibility. She was disappearing again. No not yet...please not yet. I have to at least stop her...before I...


“Ahhhhh!!!” Nami cried as she lost her hold upon Luffy and began to fall backwards.


“Nami!” Luffy cried as he saw her falling. “No!” He cried and stretched his arm after her as she continued to fall through the air. He just had to reach her in time, he willed his arm to stretch faster, faster, faster. “Nami grab my hand!”


Nami looked up in surprise to see Luffy’s hand shooting towards her. She reached out her hand and their two hands came together. His hand closed around hers and he then began to pull her back up.

- Dudley
With his hand, which was holding her hand. One of their hands was made of rubber. Rubber hand.

Suddenly, her hand began to slip through his. She was disappearing again. And this time Luffy saw what was happening. “Nami your hands?!” He cried as he saw Nami’s hands were disappearing and reappearing.


“Luffy..I should have told you but, that other me she’s in possession of my body and if I don’t get it back...I will disappear from this world. Right now I’m just a soul fragment without a body.”


“Why didn’t you tell me?” Luffy asked in a strained voice. “I’m a bit confused but...it means if we don’t get up there in time I could lose you right?”


Nami didn’t answer but Luffy knew the truth by the look in her eyes. “Nami...come back to me Nami.”


“But I...” Nami was hesitating. She could feel herself disappearing from this world. Should she just let herself fade away? Why should she stay? “But I don’t want to be in the way.”

- Miles Edgeworth
Forcing angst into the story at EVERY SINGLE OPPORTUNITY.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Hey, remember how you're the only one that can stop this? Remember?

“You’ve never been in the way. Nami I need you...by my side. Come on Nami! Hang in there!” Luffy said as he continued to pull her up.


His words gave her strength in will and she tightened her hold upon Luffy’s hand. If he needed her she would go to him. Her hand solidified and Luffy pulled her up until she was at his side.


“Luffy I’m here for you if you need but I...don’t want to be in the way of you and Vivi-” Nami was cut off as Luffy fiercely pressed his lips up against hers for a mind blowing kiss.

- clobberpuppy
"Well shit, you just gave me an aneurysm. Bye!"

When he pulled away they were both out of breath.

- Avatar
Good to know that while the world's falling apart around them, they still have time for a make-out scene.

“I don’t want to lose you Nami, ever. Because I...love you.” Luffy told her looking deeply into her eyes.


Tears welled up in Nami’s eyes. It was all too good to be true. It couldn’t be real. “You don’t really mean that...how could you love me when you know of my past...after you found out you avoided me...you will never truly love me...because I’m-”


“Perfect. Just the way you are. You may be a bit money hungry, and selfish, and rely on others to protect you, or even a total flirt but these are the things I love you about. The good and the bad. It makes you the woman I have fallen in love with.” Luffy interrupted her. “Nami I didn’t ignore you because I rejected you because of your past I distanced myself from you because I was afraid of hurting you. I’ve been having these strange visions lately Nami I don’t really get it but I could never let myself hurt you. I would rather die first.”


Nami’s eyes widened. “Luffy...about that, I think I should tell you-”


“Nami, it can wait.

- Avatar
Great, let's draw this out even more.

Right now I promise to get you to the top of this pillar as fast as humanly possible.” Luffy smirked.


“Right.” Nami smiled, nodded her head and wiped the tears from her eyes. “Let’s go Captain!”


Luffy hoisted her onto his back again and they continued their way to the top of the pillar this time at a much faster pace than before. Nami smiled to herself remembering the words she had just heard Luffy say to her, those three magical words she thought she’d never hear him say, ever. Somehow it had made it all, everything they had gone through, worth it in the end.


“We’re almost there, Nami.” Luffy grunted as he placed a hand on the edge of the ledge of the top of the pillar. He then began to drag himself and Nami up and onto the surface. Nami and Luffy stood now beneath the sphere which was hovering above them.


And there waiting for them was Wrath...

- Miles Edgeworth
Like a papercut that never heals, this guy always comes back to annoy you at the worst possible time.

“Well, well, well, I see you both have made it this far but it’s too late to stop it now. The power of Atlantis has already been awakened and is under my control. Soon the world will be in the palms of my hands! And I will not only be the Pirate King...but the World King!”

- Sturm
What kind of lame title is that?

“The power of Atlantis is under your control?” Nami questioned. “I think not. It’s under my control, or her control, or well, you get the picture.

- Spoony Spoonicus
THERE ARE TWO OF ME! THERE ARE TWO OF ME! THERE ARE TWO OF ME! THERE ARE TWO OF ME!

Give it a rest, it's not even that clever.

The real one in control here is not you.”


Nami looked up at the black sphere, which was swirling with colors of silver and blue looking like a chaotic sea that was trapped inside a crystal ball. “Inside of that chaotic sea is a part of me I have always rejected. I have always feared it would come back to haunt my present, and ruin my chance for a future. But I’ve been wrong all this time. I never had to fear that because instead I should have trusted in those that I cared about and that cared for me. I know now what I must do. Thanks to you Luffy.” Nami smiled back at Luffy before coming to stand under the black sphere.

- Miles Edgeworth
It's about time we got to the obligatory speech. Can we get this over with now?

“Nami what are you going to do?” Luffy questioned. “I should go with you. I could protect you.”


“Luffy this is something I have to do on my own.” Nami said as she began to be lifted off the floor drawn by the unseen power of the sphere. “You’ve done enough already.”


“Not so fast little missy.”

- clobberpuppy
No cookies for you!

- Miles Edgeworth
"Little Missy"? What the fuck?

Wrath growled as he lunged forward and grabbed Nami’s foot as it was almost out of reach and stopping her ascent. “You’re not going anywhere and there is not way I’m letting you come between me and the power of Atlantis. The power of Atlantis is mine to control! To command!”

- Franziska von Karma
Even I don't speak in this many redundant synonyms! How foolishly foolish this fool of an author can be.

“Let her go!” Came Luffy’s voice. And for the first time Wrath acknowledged Luffy’s presence.


“Did I just hear something?” Wrath mocked. “Or was it the wind. It was so faint I could barely hear it.”

- Avatar
Is there some unwritten rule that he has to blurt out every cliché line he can think of at any given time once he's awarded the title of main villain?

- Shredder
It's enough to make me rethink by aspirations of overthrowing Krang!

“I said LET HER GO!” Luffy growled as he lunged at Wrath. Luffy was about to collide with Wrath when suddenly he passed right through him. Luffy was sent flying to the floor where he skidded, his face getting buried in the dirt. “What the hell?” Luffy exclaimed as he coughed on the dust.


Wrath merely laughed. “Foolish boy, even now you still do not understand you are powerless against me.”


Luffy got up and brushed the dirt form his clothes. “I don’t get it...are you a ghost?”


“In a sense yes, you could call me the Ghost of Memories Past.

- Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future
Thousands of years ago, before history had begun to record itself on parchment and pages, there existed a lone tribe of filthy unwashed ape creatures who strived to perfect the twisted and arcane art of THE WRITTEN LANGUAGE. In this tribe existed one who would abuse this power in years to come, none other than the nefarious Sorcery Genius LINA. When the great time-rifts of the wizard lord opened up their swirling gates, the young witch THREW herself through them and arrived... IN OUR TIME.

Buwhahahaha! You can never defeat me boy. You might as well give it up.”


Luffy pushed himself to his feet and dusted himself off. He then smirked at Wrath, who looked confused for a moment. “You know, sorry to tell you this but I’m really bad about giving up.” With that said Luffy attacked Wrath again and again. Each time Luffy swung a punch that punch just flew through Wrath but Luffy would not give up.


Suddenly, the black sphere above them began to spin. It began to spin faster and faster and then suddenly blue-tinged lightning began to fly out of the sphere hitting the temple walls and making them crumble. Energy was flying out of the sphere in a chaotic fashion as it began to spin out of control.

- Angry Video Game Nerd
Is this thing controlled by the fucking Power Glove or something? It just does whatever the fuck it wants!

“What is happening?” Wrath asked bewildered as he watched the sphere. “Nami what are you doing? Stop it! The power is escaping! You are not controlling it.”

- Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future
It was there she found that the world had changed greatly, and discovered forms of entertainment that most call "Anime" in disgust. She CLUNG to this deseperately as its large eyes and long scenes of standing around reminded her so much of her mother's primitive cave paintings she so longed to see again.

“I-I can’t control it! It’s too powerful! It’s going out of control!” Came the voice from within the sphere. “There’s nothing I can do to stop it.”


“WHAT?! YOU CAN’T LET THIS HAPPEN! CONTROL IT DAMN YOU! CONTROL IT!!! MY POWER MY MAGNIFICENT POWER!!!!”

- clobberpuppy
Where's the remote? Turn the volume down!

Wrath bellowed as he watched the random lightning bolts shooting out from the chaotic sphere.


The ground beneath them began to tremble.


“NAMI I DID NOT ORDER AN EARTH QUAKE! WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!”

- clobberpuppy
"Sorry, mixup in the system. I'll get to work on your pepperoni and baby blood pizza right away!"

- Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future
Sorcery Genius Lina's underdevloped, chimp like mind was soon overcome with nothing but cult-like devotion to her new Anime gods, and a short time after obtaining her GED began feverishly scribing tales of horrible nightmarish worlds where everyone begins to act as if they were everything they had ever feared in mankind. She cackled with delight as her grotesque works were spread far and wide by powerful forces that cost her a mere 15.95 a month.

And that, is the true horror behind fan fiction.

“The sphere...the sphere is set on a destructive path...I think...the entire world will become engulfed in earth quakes, floods, and other natural disasters it is only a matter of time before the world becomes engulfed in chaos and is destroyed...I am sorry my love I have failed you.”

- Sturm
Awfully nice of them to program it to RUIN THE ENTIRE PLANET at the slightest slip-up.

“Noooo!!!” Wrath sunk to his knees in defeat releasing Nami in the process.


She was about to continue her way towards the sphere when Luffy grabbed her foot this time stopping her.


“Nami...you can’t go now! It’s too dangerous.”


“You must let me go Luffy...it’s not only about me now it’s about the entire world. I cannot allow this to happen. Somehow I have to find a way to stop this.” Nami looked down at Luffy.


“Alright Nami, I trust you.” Luffy said as he released her and allowed her to float back to the sphere and become engulfed by it until he could no longer see her. Then Luffy heard laughter from behind him. He turned around to see that Wrath was laughing uncontrollably. “What the hell are you laughing at? We’re all fighting for our lives here!”


“Fighting you say? So you think the girl may be able to stop the foretold destruction of the world? I think not. And the best part of this all is that this is all your fault.”


“What do you mean by that, you bastard.”


“You still haven’t figured it out yet have you. Luffy, Luffy, Luffy, you are the one who did those nasty, unspeakable things to Nami...you are the one who tortured Shanks...you are the one who conquered the Grand Line in your own way and became King of the Pirates.”

- Avatar
He was laughing about the ridiculous farce that is this plot element.

Luffy’s eyes widened in horror. “Just what are you saying. I don’t understand you I-” Luffy’s mind was suddenly flooded with visions but this time he recognized them for what they were - memories...of him and Nami...of him and Ace, who was getting a new tattoo, one of a drama mask...of him torturing Shanks...of countless other things he had done that he had never been aware of. Unspeakable things, dirty things, vile things. Was it all really true...could it really be true...he had done these things...but then that would mean that Wrath...


“You finally understand don’t you.”


Suddenly, Luffy found himself looking out from the eye holes of a mask. He quickly removed the mask and peered down at it in his hands in disbelief. The strange drama mask with the strange mark under the left eye resembling a scar...very much like the scar Luffy bore under his left eye.


It all made sense now...


He was Wrath.



- Spoony Spoonicus
So you're telling me Luffy has a split personality that not only wants to destroy the entire world, but managed to conquer the ENTIRE GRAND LINE as a preteen? He also somehow maintained full contact with his minions, left his crew on several occasions to get Ace a new tattoo and capture Shanks (among other things), and returned every time with neither the Straw Hats nor the Pirate Kings knowing or suspecting a thing? And on top of all this, absolutely nobody noticed Luffy changing his entire outfit and donning a mask while he was right in the middle of the room a few chapters back?

Congratulations, this is the most absurd thing I have ever read in my life. I'm not even close to kidding.

- Tyler Durden
You are not your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not Daddy's Little Girl. You are not a great writer. You are not able to maintain consistency. You are a terrible human being. And you ripped me off.

- Narrator
At least our excuse was insomnia.

But why? And how?


You don’t remember do you? The day I was born. That’s because for most of your life you have willed yourself to forget that fateful day...allow me to refresh your memory.

- Miles Edgeworth
Playing Sephiroth now, are we?

Luffy’s head felt like it would split in two as his mind was suddenly pummeled with images, images long forgotten now brought to the surface.


There he was with Shanks...the pirate he so admired...how he wanted to be like him - strong, powerful, respected...and yes even feared. He wanted that. To be a pirate. But what was a pirate? A pillager? A robber? A thief?...perhaps a murderer?

- Spoony Spoonicus
Sometimes pirates are just cool guys following their dreams while the government tries to keep them from discovering a truth they want kept hidden so badly that they'll destroy entire islands to keep it safe.

Oh wait, I just described what One Piece is supposed to be.

His naive mind could barely grasp the true concept of what a pirate really was. His mind was filled with visions of treasure, adventures, fanciful things that had little to the with the harshness of reality.

- Alys Brangwin
How do you swap "do" for "the"?

But for a boy things like dreams were very, very important and so Luffy dreamed of becoming the most feared pirate - the Pirate King.


The years went by and it was at the young age of twelve that Luffy ran away from home as a stowaway on a pirate ship. They hadn’t noticed that he was aboard until it was too late to take him back. So they accepted him as part of their crew on one condition, one very important condition.


“If you want to stay with us boy, you have to be a real pirate? You got that?” The pirate captain told him wagging a finger at him.


“A real pirate?” Luffy questioned wide-eyed in awe.


“Yea no crying for mommy when the going gets tough. You have to do what we do or else we’re throwing you overboard and since you can’t swim well you get the picture.” The man smiled, revealing gaps in his teeth.


“I want to be a real pirate.” Luffy said without a shred of doubt in his voice.


The pirates all laughed at his naivete and thought of Luffy as nothing more than amusement...


And then the day came, the day when a young boy’s dreams were shattered.

- Miles Edgeworth
The Day SorceryGeniusLina found One Piece and gave it a fatal dose of angsty bullshit and Inuyasha's worst plot elements.

“Captain! There’s a ship off the starboard bow! It’s a big one she is. It must be a merchant ship! Loaded with goodies no doubt...and a many a fine lass I’m sure!”


Many of the pirates laughed at that.


“Arrr, sounds good to me. We shall take that fine ship!” The Captain ordered.


“Prepare the cannons to fire. Come about!”


The pirate ship was maneuvered until it was coming right along side the merchant ship at top speed. There was no escape for the heavily laden ship, that was too slow.

- Sturm
I'd say "let the context fill in the blanks for once", but we've already seen that that's a lost cause.

When they were right along side it the Captain ordered a barrage of cannon fire.


“Cannons! Fire!” The Captain shouted.


The merchant ship’s sides were hit precisely and the ship came to a standstill.


“Prepare to board, you scallywags! Have the boarding hooks at the ready!” The Captain commanded.

- Avatar
Trapped in yet another cliché, this story.

In a matter of moments the pirates were all swinging over the sides of the ship and onto the merchant ship. Up until this point Luffy had been watching with a face full of awe that was until he heard the screaming after the merchant ship had been fired upon.


He had been watching as the fires had broken out on the other ship’s decks and how people were running around in a panic. Some already jumping ship. People...the people were suffering because of them.


But this was only the beginning. As soon as the pirates landed they began to kill anyone who so much as lifted a finger to resist them. Luffy wanted to shut his eyes against what he was seeing but found that he was so terrified that he couldn’t. He had no choice but to continue watching...


The pirates finished murdering most of the crew, and began to take the women captive. Their screams filled Luffy’s ears and he was reminded of his mother

- Commander Ladd
Whom we've never seen nor heard any trace of in the actual story.

...any of these women could have children just like him and now they now they...who knew what fate awaited them.


If this wasn’t bad enough it seemed that the pirates had left one man alive for one very special purpose.


“Boy the time has come for you to prove that you are one of us. In this world it is kill or be killed I want you to remember that. Now here take this.” The Pirate Captain placed a small dirk in Luffy’s hands.


He then went over to the restrained man and released his bonds. “I want you to kill this man.” The Pirate ordered.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Our author has recently watched Batman Begins.

“Wha?” Luffy squeaked out in disbelief. “You don’t mean...”


“This is a battle of life and death whoever survives well survives...I’m sure at least you understand.” The Pirate Captain addressed the unarmed man. He was an average looking sort of man, was probably a navigator by his scholarly appearance definitely not the fighter type, he had probably surrendered right away. But at those words the man’s eyes took a different sort of glint to them as they turned to Luffy.


Luffy took a step back. He couldn’t really be expected to kill the man in front of him could he? Before he could question again the captured man lunged towards Luffy, or rather for Luffy’s dirk. Soon Luffy was sent crashing into the floor of the deck the man on top of him fighting for the knife.


They struggled one against the other until the knife was coming very close to Luffy’s neck. Luffy used all his strength to move the knife away from his neck and soon it was under his eye. The knife was digging into his skin there now until he bled. The pain...it hurt. How it hurt.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Wow. Have you even read One Piece?

- Avatar
You're just now asking this?!

- Commander Ladd
It's even more inexcusable considering that the scar is explained FOUR PAGES into CHAPTER 1.

That was when Luffy realized that this man was trying to kill him.


Summoning the last of his strength Luffy used an odd tactic as he decided to head butt the man on top of him. The man was stunned and just long enough to give Luffy plenty of time to run his small dirk through the man’s unprotected neck...


Blood sprayed onto Luffy, and onto his now blood stained hands.


A twelve year old boy had killed a man.

- Avatar
You've obviously never met Spark if this comes as a surprise to you.

Is this what he had wanted? To become a pirate? What of his dream?


It all seemed to be crashing around him. Luffy couldn’t handle it, couldn’t face what he had done, couldn’t carry the burden of the guilt of the crime he had committed. He didn’t want to be himself at that moment. He wished he were free, were someone else.


And that is when Wrath was born.

- Megido
How very anticlimactic.

The only way to keep Luffy’s conscious guilt free would be for Luffy to truly be a separate entity than from the one who had just murdered a man.

So Luffy’s split personality was formed.

- Miles Edgeworth
Because it's just that easy to develop a second personality whenever you want.

Wrath would be the one to shoulder the guilt of the murder. It was he who was guilty of the crime. And it was he who would be guilty of any crimes Luffy committed in the future.


Luffy would be free from all this. In this way Luffy could remain pure, innocent, a boy...up until the age of seventeen still an innocent boy.


The persona Luffy had created had resulted in his personality splitting as it had.

- Megido
Must you explain out absolutely every detail about everything?

He wasn’t really naive of the world he was just unaware of what he already knew about it. He was sheltered, protected from himself, but at the same time left in the dark about the truth...the harsh truths of the reality of the world, love, hate, good, evil. Instead of understanding the gray area all had become black and white.


However, now Luffy knew.


Luffy’s eyes opened and he realized he had been lying unconscious for several minutes. The black sphere overhead was still spinning rapidly and out of control.


The guilt of all the crimes he had committed in his life washed over Luffy. He was no longer the same Luffy. He knew things now. He was different. Luffy could no longer separate himself from those harsh realities it was time for him to face the music.

- Spoony Spoonicus
I'm strangely indifferent to the last bastion of Luffy's personality being destroyed. Probably my survival instinct telling me to wrap this up and get the fuck out of here before my brain implodes.

“What have I done? What am I? I...deserve to die.” Luffy moaned before he let out a bellowing yell that echoed throughout the chamber.


ooo


As Nami was drawn into the sphere she knew what she would have to do but at the same tim