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You may find yourself, in the very moment you are reading this, spying over a rock at a band of trolls camping near by. How easy it will be to just charge over and kill them all! But wait, dear adventurer, for there are many types of trolls and many many ways to effectively kill them. If you charge in with the intent to merely decapitate them all, you'll be knee deep in your own knees. That is to say, they will hack your shins off while you are standing and your bleeding stumps will hit the ground somewhere near where your knees just fell. Luckily for you, dear adventurer, we have included this handy troll identification guide for you to sort out the best way to deal with these snotty monstrosities.

1. First off, are your trolls wearing clothing?
          Yes: Proceed to Question 2.
          No: Poceed to Question 4.

2. Are they primitive looking rags or do they bare signs of advanced tailoring?
          Primitive: Proceed to Question 4.
          Advanced: Proceed to Question 3.

3. Are there beer cans scattered around the area?
          Yes: These are not trolls, this is a fraternity camp-out. Join them for some brews and share a story or two, they just love hearing about how many chicks you've bagged in past adventures.
          No: Proceed to Question 7.

4. Are they hairy and hunchbacked?
          Yes: Then you are dealing with Carpet Trolls. The easiest way to deal with them is to light them on fire. This can be done very effectively with flaming arrows, or in the absence of an archer, a molotov cocktail. Advanced adventurers also have the option of shoving their faces in their campfire.
          No: Proceed to Question 5.

5. Are they tall and mostly warty?
          Yes: Scab trolls. They are your typical fast-regenerating troll, so your only option is to hack them into a ton of tiny little bits, bag up all their swag, and get the hell out of dodge before they merge back together like in Terminator 2. The whole process will take about 15 minutes, so if you plan on lingering around for a while you might want to take their arms, put them in a spare sack, and hang them from a tree. This not only prevents them from re-attatching their arms, its hilarious to watch as they try to do back flips and kick the sack open like a pinata.
          No: Proceed to Question 6

6. If they're not hairy, and theyre not warty, then they've gotta have big old frickin' tusks. You're messing with Bull trolls. Theyre dumb as hell, you can trick most of them into splattering their brains against rocks and trees by yelling at them and jumping out of the way. While this is the most fun method of dispatching them, it is also the most dangerous. If possible, take them out as they sleep. Or better yet, throw a bomb at them.

7. Are they speaking in a language that sounds like ours mixed with unfamiliar terms?
          Yes: Then you've got Hipster Trolls. Mostly harmless and not prone to violence, although their opinions on popular entertainment and the like are enough to make you want to impale them. You can do this if you please, nobody really cares about them.
          No: Standard Beef Troll. They are the only trolls you can handle in the traditional hack and slash method. So get to it, dear adventurer!

If none of these helped you, then you are potentially dealing with a new type of troll. You may wish to abandon the area entirely to avoid the risk of not having blood anymore. But keep in mind, dear adventurer, that if you do manage to slay them, you can mail the Adventurer's Field Guide one of their heads, a description of their habits, how you killed them, and an address where you can pick up your reward. Rewards may include new swords, boots, shields, or cold hard cash. Our address can be found on the back of the front cover of this book.

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