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Bulge Castle is a large structure whose name derives not from the fact its commissioner was named "Bulge", but because it's ugly as hell and looks like some sort of malignant growth on the countryside on which it resides. The man who fronted the cash to build the disaster was a man named "Horace Turnstyle", a carpenter and self-proclaimed "design artist" who struck it rich due to getting intense sympathy for having the worst possible taste. In actuality, the money that was donated by his fellow townspeople wasn't given because they felt sorry for him, but so he'd move the hell out of their village so they could get rid of his ugly-ass house that was such an eyesore for the past 30 years.

Horace's son, the infamous Trevor Turnstyle (see Famous Adventurers - Trevor Turnstyle, pg. 701), fled the coup at the age of 13. Some say because he got enticed by the adventuring lifestyle, others gossip that he just hit puberty and was horny as hell. True adventurers know it's a combination of both. Horace was devastated by his son's departure, and locked his wife and the rest of his children in their shithole and vowed to never show anyone his face again. Everyone else rejoiced. The guy's horrible taste included his sense of fashion.

A few hundred years later, the castle had become overgrown, and many local villages had forgotten its history, merely assuming it was just some hill a few miles over. Until one day, when a kid involved in a game of Hops Scotch (not to be confused with Hopscotch -- see Drinking Games, pg. 45) tripped over himself and faceplanted hard enough to break through the overgrowth and land in the castle's garden. His drunken cohorts reported hearing noises like "one hell of a vomit fit" mixed with gargled screams.

After rigorous investigation (IE, lighting the place on fire and sending in a few adventurers), it was determined that over the past few hundred years the Turnstyle family had become an inbred freakshow of a community trapped within the ugliest castle known to man, directly paralleled by the ugliness of their own faces.

Turns out, the vomit noises and screams were not because they killed the poor kid who fell in, but because one of the Turnstyle clan came up to him, asked "are you alright, man? That looked like it hurt" and the kid saw its face, vomited, and screamed for help.

The Turnstyle community is actually a pretty nice group of people who unfortunately are all cousins and ugly as hell. After their discovery, their castle was cleaned up in an attempt to re-introduce them to society, but after the cleaning crew was finished and took a good look at what they uncovered, they instantly regretted it, and left without receiving their pay.

For practical purposes, Bulge Castle is an excellent place to visit for training on how to hold back your gag reflex, a useful skill for more advanced Troll dungeons, which are home to some of the most horrible-smelling creatures known to man.

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- Stoic Tom <- 12:57:57 pm, thursday, april 10th, 2008 pdt
- Buddy Hatchett <- 12:58:25 pm, thursday, april 10th, 2008 pdt
- Stoic Tom <- 12:59:07 pm, thursday, april 10th, 2008 pdt
- O'Doyle Flush <- 1:00:28 pm, thursday, april 10th, 2008 pdt
- Stoic Tom <- 1:01:11 pm, thursday, april 10th, 2008 pdt
- O'Doyle Flush <- 1:01:26 pm, thursday, april 10th, 2008 pdt