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First and foremost, congratulations, dear adventurer. Piker's Gorge is a rite of passage of sorts for young adventurers such as yourself. Successfully pillaging and causing general havoc in Piker's Gorge not only means you've become too strong to succumb to means of death that newspapers will report as "stupid, but the funny kind of stupid", but means you're strong enough to take on some real missions. Be careful, however, because dying in Piker's Gorge is stupid, but at least the funny kind of stupid. If you're wondering, Piker's Gorge is a large goblin city thats very poorly defended despite being in a canyon, because the goblins guard the end of it that isnt pointing towards the nearest tavern.

Basically the plan is that you are to run in to Piker's Gorge, screaming, waving your weapon or letting fly with whatever magical spell you prefer, trying to knock over as much shit and kill as many goblin civilians as you can, snatch up any crude work of art or sack of grub you can get your mitts on, and book it out of there. After spending the night at the aforementioned tavern, It's customary to share your swag with everyone present, and use whatever religious artifacts you picked up to fuel a fire to cook the food you stole. Then the next day you do it again, trying to top what you did before.

If this seems cruel and inhumane, then you have failed the rite and will never be an adventurer. Shame on you. Please burn this book and go home.

On your third day you should have a fair idea of the layout of the city, thinned out the street traffic some, and have tons of bundled up energy from the high sugar content of the goblin food. This time you're going for the big bucks. You see, goblins live for a very long time almost never expiring from natural causes. They also happen to breed at an incredibly fast rate. The king of Piker's Gorge has lived for at least two centuries and has another five to go before anyone considers him old enough to retire. The only thing that can possibly remove him from power is if one of his children grow to adulthood and murder him, as things usually go in politics. This would be terrible for that nice friendly tavern, as the king is incredibly stupid and by his logic, not stationing guards near the tavern means less soldier casualties, which means a stronger army. Your job on this third run is to storm the palace (its actually about 2 dozen prefabricated sheds all hooked together) and make sure the king has no offspring with the potential of committing regicide, or with the potential to be smarter than their father. With the king's safety and stupidity ensured, shag ass out of there and return to the tavern. With any luck you'll make it back about the same time some other adventurer is returning from his first run.

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