- Spoony Spoonicus
Something I found during my journeys through the realms of bad fan fiction, written by a goof named Rahu Roux. He's got no shortage of dumb fanfics (which we'll dig into soon), but I felt his profile was heckle-worthy in and of itself, so let's have at it!

Author has written 50 stories for Code Lyoko, Jak and Daxter, Teen Titans,

- Miles Edgeworth
Arguably the worst American-made cartoon of all time.

Powerpuff Girls,

- clobberpuppy
That one might be worse!

Sly Cooper, Fullmetal Alchemist, One Piece, Detective Conan/Case Closed, Naruto, Fairy Tales, Sailor Moon, and Eyeshield 21.

- Commander Ladd
At least a few of those are decent!

Superstars In Mason Jars

- Sturm
Well, that was... random.

- SHITTLE
BRASS DOORKNOBS IN THE WOODEN APOCALYPSE

- Sturm
So is that.

Updated December 11th, 2007

!~~ANNOUNCEMENTS~~!

A). Update, but not really, aha. I seem to have gone in a sort of artisic medium cycle; from writing, to making videos, to icon construction, and perhaps back to writing again afterwards. I'm hangin' in here, if only by a fingernail. Lulz. Also, why won't the avater thingie gimme my avatar back?

- Shredder
Good taste?

Boo. Hiss.

- Shyna El Mensajero
Boo. Hiss." indeed. That first paragraph gives me much confidence in your fanfic writing skillz, lulz.

THINGS YA GOTTA KNOW 'BOUT THIS MOFO

- Spoony Spoonicus
He a real true gangsta.

Name: Jake.

Gender: Male (Don't look so surprised!)

- Avatar
Too late.

- Miles Edgeworth
Guess that fanfic list up there was causing a lot of confusion.

Appearance: Black hair, green eyes. Hella fair skinned and shorter than most seventeen year olds. No, I am not Harry Potter. (Don't believe Poetic-Folly's lies!)

- Phoenix Wright
This guy's mind is like a warped CD, skipping around tracks completely at random.

- Dr. Orpheus
One's mind becomes erratic and short of attention when exposed to too many face faults and chubby noseless faces. An internal safety measure to avoid complete madness, I understand.

- Sturm
Apparently it's hard to switch it off afterward.

Nationality: Irish, German, Welsh, Italian, and American. (waves flag)

- clobberpuppy
Salute your shorts!

About Me: Rahu Roux is kinda bitpart. 'Rahu' came from the Buddism sign of destruction, or so says the Shaman King volume I read. 'Roux' came from Lucky Roux (Or, Lucky Roo), part of Red-Haired Shanks' pirate crew in the manga One Piece.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Odd choice considering how rarely he's actually seen.

I live for crack pairings. I also pride myself on not being a dumb ass prick,

- Shyna El Mensajero
One sec. HAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! OH LORD, OH LORD, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *ahem* Continue.

as the ever-talented Wulf can attest to.

When it comes to school, I'm very lazy. My room is messy, for lack of a politer term. Only my manga collection has any semblance of order; organized alphabetically by number.

- Miles Edgeworth
Why does none of this surprise me?

(-hears the sound of brains snapping in twain-)

- Avatar
Seen Genocyber too many times.

I have a problem where I love attention and will goof off shamelessly to get it.

- Dio Brando
Well, that answers my question about why anyone would write fan fiction.

Profanity is my friend. I am pro-author insertion, dammit!

- Spoony Spoonicus
You won't be after reading some Gonterman.

And I'm totally not deserving of all this space to fill up with my ramblings.

- Alys Brangwin
Well, you said it, not me.

- Shyna El Mensajero
Well, maybe he isn't much of a "dumb ass prick" if he can actually admit that.

QUOTES, BITCHES;

"Stop talking to fruit!" -- Cheerleader, Teen Girl Squad 12#

"Aggh! The disgust! It won't wash off!" -- Strong Bad

"Then, like, I got a call from my other friend and he goes on and on about his new girl and that makes me mad so then I went to his house with my favorite pipe and now those damn stains won't come off and I'm all out of Bounty and my warrant list is long enough so- " Yumi Ishiyama, Crazy Kadic Kids.

"Hell is only eternal flames because Satan likes a Roasted Sinner every now and then to compliment his diet of Damned Souls." - Me.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Okay, I have to admit that's pretty clever.

I kick more ass than your mom...I shall now shoot myself.

- Casey Jones
I don't recall my mother ever kicking anything. She was fond of spanking me with a shoe, though.

"Remember, be shiny!" ---Me, taken from AirBenderSora, who took it from a musical or something. Must be said while giving a thumbs up and Rock Lee-style smile.

"Are YOU shiny?" ---Modified version of previous quote. Use an interrogative tone on this, like all of those bad detective shows you used to watch.

- ERROR
I AM ERROR.
FANFIC PARSING FAILED. INSANITY PROCESSOR OVERLOAD. SHUTTING DOWN.

- Avatar
Well, that's impressive. Not even SGL's shitty story could crash Error.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Yeah, but that one was as predictable as clockwork and three times as repetitive.

- Avatar
True.

But none of you really care about that, now do you? Thought not.

My Nom_De_Plumes: In case you come across me somewhere else on this world wide web, here are my other pen names: Kajo, Kaensitsu, RahuRoux49, and rahu_roux. Feel free to yell at me on my AIM! (RahuRoux)

- The Guardian
Ah, but public mockery is so much more fun!

- Shyna El Mensajero
Wow, you really are an attention-whore, aren't you? I wonder if anyone has IMed you with mean, nasty criticism yet?

- Spoony Spoonicus
Doubt it.

My favorite reviewers: Something-Like-Laughter, who was with me in my early days. You rock my boat. Captain-Hina's-Love-Slave, for her wonderfully descriptive reviews that help me improve my wayward writing. Flesheater777, because he's one of the most kick-ass people I've ever known, if only by Internet. Hell, he added me to his C2 community. (-sobs of joy-) Yavapai, because...well...what else is there to say about her that hasn't already been said in terms more eloquent than mine? She's awesome. End of story.

Favorite Authors: OTHER AUTHORS ARE THE ENEMY. They keep coming out with awesome chapters at the same time. GRAAGH. : D And they write better than me, too. Stop motivating me!

- clobberpuppy
It's not wise to encourage the insane!

Hobbies: Reading. Writing. Poetry. Video Games. Obsessing over One Piece/Sailor Moon/Fruits Basket/etc. characters and staying up all night searching for fanfics/fanart of favorite couples. I lead a boring, average life. Watch TV if you wanna see Batman.

- SOUND FX



Manga/Anime I Own And/Or Have Read/Watched:

- Avatar
Sentences that I may or may not have read due to possibly/impossibly hearing my brain short out/explode.

Eyeshield 21, Fruits Basket, One Piece, Shaman King, Naruto, Chobits, Kingdom Hearts, Dragonball, DragonballZ, FullMetal Alchemist, Read Or Die, Bobobo-bo-bobo, Gravitation, Ruroni Kenshin, Ouran High School Host Club, Case Closed, Prince of Tennis, DeathNote, Wolf's Rain, Life, the ever-addictive Sailor Moon...

- Commander Ladd
At least it's it's a better rap sheet than our previous author.

Favorite Bands/Singers: Siren's Song, Three Weird Sisters, Rubber Planet, Harvey Danger, Crush 40, Within Temptation, and Udora.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Oh lord.

I find it much, much harder to write het couplings than non het ones,

- Miles Edgeworth
I might as well ask: what makes writing gay characters so much easier?

- Avatar
First-hand knowledge?

- Miles Edgeworth
Only thing I can think of.

so don't go asking me to write you some SanjixNami or ZoroxTashigi, because I won't. It doesn't make me squeal like a schoolgirl.

- clobberpuppy
"However, a sharp blow to the groin gets me every time!"

- Shyna El Mensajero
Aaaand...we needed to know this because...? Seriously, "I find it hard to write het couplings" would have sufficed.

It doesn't amuse me to no end. The only exception to this rule is UsoppxKaya, NejixHinata, LeexSakura, or GaaraxHinata/Sakura/Temari, which I find pretty tolerable if done right.

- Commander Ladd
That's a surprisingly specific list.

Shoujo-ai? Hell yeah. I'm a certified NaVi addict anyway. I even get it pumped into my arm at regular intervals.

- Boris Badenov
Your habit fund terrorism, foolish American!

- Natasha Fatale
We have enough money to explode dam based on profit from you alone!

Shonen-ai? Sure. Sounds like fun, seeing as almost all the males in most anime/mangas seem to be as straight as a fucking circle.

- Spoony Spoonicus
I really can't think of many that struck me as gay. But I try my hardest to avoid anything that looks like Wolf's Rain or Fruit Basket, so that might be a factor.

Another exception is one ItachixSakura/SasukexSakura fanfic I wrote because the plotbunnies rebelled on me.

Latest Obsession: Redwall and Sailor Moon argh argh argh.

Favorite Character: Madam Bourbon? Who is she you ask? Why, she is the nicest bisexual pedophile French whore you'll ever meet. For serious.

- Sturm
Great, more pedophiles. Uuggghhhh.

- Avatar
Something the world could always use less of.

THINGS TO EXPECT

- Avatar
Homosexuality?

- Miles Edgeworth
Disappointment?

- Commander Ladd
More Tourettic outbursts in the middle of paragraphs?

- Spoony Spoonicus
All of the above?

Anything partially or mostly finished, yet still pending total completion, that's gonna show up here sooner or later. (Or not! Who knows?) Things will be removed from the list when they're up, or if I give up on them. Because I AM A MAMMA'S BOY. Just kidding. I hope someone steals your eyeballs and uses them to decorate their femur.

- Hannibal Lecter
This guy's really creeping me out.

asdfhjfkjg nothing LEAVE ME ALONE DX

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

- Spoony Spoonicus
Took a swig of his Mountain Dew, was assaulted by the voice in his head, stood up too fast, experienced a headrush and passed out on his keyboard.

(My profile's longer than the Constitution! At least, it should be.)

- President Dan President
I KNEW you were a Commie, boy!

Remember; BOW YOUR HEADS LOW, ALL HAIL KAJO!

- The Guardian
Avert your allegiance from me and I shall lay waste to your pathetic world!

And, dear God, please don't read anything published before "Ode to a Thief". The writing is HORRIBLE.

You know how to get me to update, or at least grin evilly? REVIEW. It's a magical thing. Spread da love.

- Chuckles
Spreading mockery is more my speciality!