- Spoony Spoonicus
Sampling arguably the least crazy fic in the guy's One Piece heading (ironic, considering the name), because I really don't want to read Eyeshield 21 yaoi or anything involving Sailor Moon. Enjoy!

This fic is basically my dumping grounds for random ideas,

- Sturm
That could be argued of everything you write.

- Shyna El Mensajero
If you're going to write a story, you don't use the final draft as a "dumping ground for random ideas." That's what outlines and rough drafts are for.

and a One Piece version of my other fic 'Crazy Kadic Kids'

- Avatar
"Kadic" sounds like a designer drug.

- The Guardian
One the author is likely doing before writing these stories!

But sometime I have weird conversations with my friend and that helps too.

- Shyna El Mensajero
...helps what?

- Spoony Spoonicus
Quick question: Is the rest of your family convinced your friend is an inanimate object?

Neither One Piece nor Safari by Bombay DR belongs to me.
--

It had been a normal day in the StrawHat's random...house...thing...

- Spoony Spoonicus
Ship?

until Usopp fainted. "Holy crap! Usopp-san!" Luffy yelled. Everyone else looked up from what they were doing to find the captain bawling his eyes out. "He's dead! Usopp-san's dead! WHYYYYY?" Usopp blinked. "Um, I'm still alive." Luffy stopped crying at once. He poked his friend's long nose. "Then why'd you faint?"

Usopp smacked Luffy's hand away. "My mind was overcome with a vision of the most terrifying thing we'll ever know...AUTHOR INSERTION!"

- Miles Edgeworth
Gonterman's reputation stretches even to the world of One Piece.

As if on cue, the rest of the crew besides Luffy shouted "Liar!" Zoro grunted from his position beside the window. "Usopp, do you honestly think that we'll believe that Rahu Roux would bother to do a fic with him and us in it? He's way too busy torturing those poor Lyoko kids..."

- Shyna El Mensajero
...no. Oh lord, no. Please don't make the characters aware of your presence from inside the fanfic. Nevermind, you already did.

Suddenly, the swordsman had to hop (yes, hop) out of the way to avoid being run over by a fancy looking car.

- Commander Ladd
Is it that hard to believe he'd hop in that situation?

Rahu was sitting in the driver's seat, looking spazzier than usual.

- Alys Brangwin
I'm amazed that's possible considering what we're reading.

- Shyna El Mensajero
I thought you were putting youself in the fanfic? You haven't done that! You're just putting a glorified, puffed-up, Mary Sue-ish self-insert into the fanfic. -10 points for this chapter.

- Spoony Spoonicus
The Sueism is pretty well offset by the fact that there's no real plot to resolve.

There were fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror. Zoro managed to win back his balance after his ungainly hop and he shouted at Rahu, "What the hell is wrong with you? You almost got me killed! And where did that car come from?"

- Spoony Spoonicus
666 RedOrange Street, Hell, Michigan.

The weird teen laughed and revved up the car's engine. "I wanna go on a safari!" From the safety of the couch, Sanji huffed. "You don't get to."

Rahu pouted at the cook. "But...I wanna see the lions from my ferrari!" he wailed, gesturing to the really cool car he sat in.

- Dudley
Okay im a tiny bit drunk right now, but I think even if I wasnt, driving a Ferarri through the African savannah looking for lions would be fucking incredible.

- Shyna El Mensajero
A ferrari. Tra la la fucking la. So, does anyone else get one, or are you just special? Don't answer that.

Sanji shot him a death glare. "No!" Rahu flailed, smacking Luffy, who had randomly decided to sit beside him, in the face. "But it's safari time!" Nami raised a hand. "No it's not." She ducked to avoid Rahu throwing himself at her, yelling, "Girlie, oh girlie, we're going on safari!" He smashed into a wall.

Nami's eye twitched. "NO WE ARE NOT." Rahu peeled himself from the wall and waved dismissively at the navigator. "I'll show you the goats, the chickens and the monkeys." Nami stomped her foot and pointed out the door. "That's it young man! GO TO YOUR ROOM!" Rahu glared angrily at her and crossed his arms. "Never! I'm going to visit my uncle and play with his parrots, dammit!" Nami glared back, raising her voice a couple levels. "No you're not! That's it! YOU'RE GROUNDED!" Everyone took a couple steps back from the arguing pirates for fear of their lives. Rahu was scary when he was mad...but Nami was absoulutly terrifying.

- Commander Ladd
And occasionally hilarious.

- Shyna El Mensajero
Absoulutly (ab-soul-oot-lee); a word formed when the word "absolutely" steals another word's soul.

"Make me!" Rahu replied, shaking a fist at the navigator. "I'm going to see the birdies on safari!" He started to stomp back to the ferrari, but Nami beat him there and trashed the car with her staff until the engine exploded in a fiery ball of...fire.

- Sturm
Much like Goldeneye 007, everything in this fanfic explodes after taking a few solid hits.

Luffy leapt out of it, the flames sticking to his hat and clothes. "HOT! H-O-T!" He leapt into Zoro's arms. "Save me first mate!" The marimo panicked and tried to pry Luffy off of him, but he had already caught on fire. Rahu whipped out a bat and proceeded to beat the swordsman with it. "I'll save you Zoro!" Although the flames were extinguished, Zoro had somehow become unconscious.

- Avatar
Not as a result of the savage beating, mind you. Just "somehow."

Rahu looked at his body and sweatdropped. "Oops." Sanji raised his curly eyebrow. "His fangirls are gonna kill you, you know." Sure enough, a horde of girls stampeded into the room, knocking down the wall in progress. Rahu gave a terrfied "Eeep!" before running away, the fangirls giving chase. They trampled everyone but Usopp, because he clung to a chandelier out of their reach.

TEH END OF CHAPTER 1

- Miles Edgeworth
That was... refreshingly brief.

- Sturm
A little of this guy goes a long way.

-
Yeah. Go me.

- Shyna El Mensajero
Okay, I can't be more than 40% pissed with this. Unlike ShittyGobblebumLina, you actually seem to know the characters, and keep them in character. This story still makes me say "What the hell?" though. C Rank achieved.

- Spoony Spoonicus
I'll admit he's a decent writer, but his stories' general premises are just nutty as all hell.

- Chuck the Plant <- 9:02:20 pm, friday, may 23rd, 2008 pdt <- (updated 11:50:11 am, mon, may 26th, 2008 pdt)